Criss-cross-applesauce Dreams

Dear Sprout,

Right now, I am sitting "criss-cross-applesauce" (as my first graders would say). And, on top of my lap, you are fast asleep. Your head is rested on one of my legs and your feet are propped up on the other. This is your very favorite sleeping position of all. You always sleep with your right hand above your head and oftentimes your lips make little itty-bitty sucking motions while you dream. I guess you are dreaming about eating; after all, that is one of your favorite things to do! I love watching you sleep. I love caressing your sweet little head while watching your lips make surprise smiles here and there. I love holding your dimpled hands and kissing your soft baby feet. You are not a big napper but you will happily fall sleep if you are held. Lots of babies are big sleepers and will nap almost anywhere ... but not you. Daddy says that you are a lot like me ... social ... you want to be with a loved one all of the time. I guess that's one reason you and I get along so well. We can be doing nothing but sitting criss-cross-applesauce and napping -- but we are doing these little nothings with someone we love and that makes everything perfect.

Love always,
Mommy

I Love You

Dear Sprout,

Well, me and Daddy were eating dinner and you fell asleep in your swing. You have had such fun packed days and it's good for you to get some rest. You are like me in that we don't like to sleep because there is too much to do and to see! However, sometimes sleep is the best thing for us. So while you sleep, I will write.

Instead of writing about our exciting day in the snow, I just want to tell you how very much I love you. You are the most amazing and precious little man. I have so loved being your mommy -- I cannot begin to describe how much. I love holding you, hugging you, and kissing your little cheeks over and over again. Your smile is the sweetest thing I have ever seen and it never ceases to put a lump in my throat because I just can't believe how happy I am. Being married to your dad and being your mommy ... well, it's the best. It's like, for the first time, I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Now it's night time. I suppose I should get some rest as well. Sweet dreams, my little one. Tomorrow, another adventure awaits us. Me and you and Daddy, we'll have another special day together. And that is what I have learned -- a day together as a family will always be a very special day, indeed.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Love always,

Mommy

May Your Days be Merry and Bright!

Dear Sprout,

Your first Christmas was, in a word, spectacular. Right now, you are in your grandparents' living room, squealing with delight while playing with your toys. Your gifts are simple and heart felt. Grampy and Grammy got you two toy trucks and a peg board that you can beat with a plastic hammer. And man, are you having fun with all three of those items! Crystal got you a Christmas bear, the Williams got you a singing dog, Rachel got you the cutest dinosaur pajamas, and Uncle Al contributed to your sportsman's license along with your great-grandparents. Mommy and Daddy bought you a play yard with a foam mat -- as you on the verge of becoming a very mobile young man! Little guy, you have so many people that love you and these gifts are just tokens of their deep affections for you.

Mommy and Daddy received beautiful gifts as well. We are so humbled by the tremendous thoughtfulness that we have been shown throughout this year. Honestly, people have gone out of their way to help our young and growing family. We hope that we can impact lives like others have impacted ours. Amazing.

Your daddy and I enjoy making gifts for one another. We are more able to share our hearts that way. In the past, Daddy has made Mommy a book of poems, drawings, dinners by candlelight, and a chicken mailbox... I have loved everything Daddy has ever given me, but what he did this year brought me to tears of happiness. He produced and narrated a DVD of our love story. Really, it was a love story and a love letter intertwined into one beautiful media presentation. One day, when you are married, Daddy will be the one to mentor you on how to make your wife the happiest woman on earth! I made Daddy a book starring YOU! I went on Shutterfly.com and made a storybook of your pictures showing all the things that you love. And then, on the very last page, it shows a single snapshot of you and daddy -- it reads, "Alan Wade loves his daddy very, very much." The book is not grand by any means, but it was a way for me to share my sincere affections.

Every single Christmas that ever was, and ever will be, is truly wonderful. However, this year God did something very neat, indeed. He gave us something that Mommy and Daddy have wanted for a long time. He gave us snow on this special day. Yes, your very first Christmas was a white Christmas! We watched it start to snow as we ate breakfast. Then, we promptly layered you in four outfits, put an elf hat on top of your head, and took you outside to experience this splendor first hand! Little man, you are definitely like us in that your love for snow is already apparent. We could tell that you were fascinated. To be quite honest with you, no matter how many times you see snow, it will always leave you in awe. And to experience that very awe on Christmas, well, that's something that you will treasure in your heart for a lifetime.

Finally, my sweet baby Sprout, I want to leave you with one very important thought. Christmas will most likely be your favorite time of year. It certainly is mine. The allure of brightly decorated trees, harmonious carols, family, friends, shiny presents, and tons of good cheer will make you anticipate this day for pretty much the entire year. Celebrate with all of your being ... but please do not forget what Christmas is. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ. He came on this earth to save mankind from sin. It is because of Him that we can have a saving faith that will secure a place for us in heaven for all eternity. Could you even begin to imagine a gift that comes remotely close to that one? No one can. So my little man, have fun today and every other December 25th to follow. Love every marvelous facet! Smile until your cheeks hurt and love as much as you possibly can. Give to others. Remember that God is the true giver of all good things. Thank Him. Love Him. Celebrate Him on Christmas and every day ... forever.

Merry Christmas, baby.

Love always,

Mommy

Riddle

Dearest Baby Boy,

What has three teeth, crazy hair, rolly-polly thighs ... and is the most beautiful thing in the world?

YOU!!!

Love you,
Mommy

Snow globe

Today it snowed big fat snowflakes. I felt like I was inside of my very own snow globe. If you looked inside my snow globe, you would see Christmas trees trimmed in white. If you looked beyond the trees, you would notice a quaint blue cottage filled with warmth. You might even notice two lovers in blue jeans walking hand-in-hand. She is holding a little baby wearing a bear cub snow suit. Books, hot chocolate, cardigan sweaters, friends, and family are scattered all around. There is a small town with an illuminated star and a manger scene filled with school children. Townspeople are kept warm by a bonfire and its sparks resemble lightning bugs flying high up into the sky. The snow is not falling any more. Everything is still and the day is done. How I wish that somehow my little globe could be turned upside down and shaken and placed back onto the table. I would love to have my snowy day replayed again and again. How I love simple days like this one.

A Few Thank Yous on Thanksgiving

A Few Thank Yous on Thanksgiving

Dear God,
Thank You so much for giving me what I have always wanted -- a family of my very own. Thank You for not answering prayers that would have led me down a different path, had they been answered. Thank You for disciplining me, molding me, believing in me, and loving me. God, thank You for always being there for me when I have no idea what I am doing and thank You for putting things in perspective when I put a little too much of a focus on myself. Lord, you are so patient with me. You are merciful and You are just. You are exactly what I need every day, every minute, every moment of my existence. I am so thankful for You.
Love always,
Anna


Dear Andrew,
You are my most wonderful, beautiful, and amazing person. You have a kind and gentle heart like no other. If I could only describe you with one word, it would be "humble." Your loving acts do not produce recognition because you do not boast ... you do not tell. I have never heard a hateful word part from your lips. You are quiet and sweet and caring and I am so blessed to know you like no other. You are the type of person that I aspire to be like. I hope that as the years go by, I will take on more and more of the characteristics that make you so special to me. Perhaps a better word to describe you with is "Christian." Yes, I know that you are not perfect and yes, I know that you are a sinner just like me and everyone else ... but you try very hard to model yourself after Christ and that is evident. I love you so much, Andrew. I do not say thank you often enough. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the rest of my life. I love you forever, my sweet Andrew.
Love always,
Anna

Dear Sprout,
Buddy, Mommy loves you so much. Thank you for making my dreams come true. When I held you in my arms for the first time, you stared right at me and would not take your eyes off of mine. Thank you for that. You are so young, but man have you made me grow up! Because of you, my perspective has changed dramatically. I want to be a mommy that you can look up to and trust 100%. I do not want to tell you to behave one way and then go off and do my own thing, regardless of what I just told you. I want to act wisely, say only kind things, and think in a more loving way than I ever have before. I want to do my part to make the world a little better ... because I wanted it to be a better place for you. Know that you will always be my most wonderful and special little blessing.
Love always,
Mommy

Dear Family and Friends,
Thank you for loving me and believing in me as I grow. Thank you for understanding that I am not perfect. Thank you for you willingness to walk alongside me as I figure out exactly how to be an adult. I love you -- always have and always will.
Love always,
Me

Son

"Son"

Soft and Sweet

Whispy locks

Sideways smile

Cotton Socks

Long fingers

For little hands

Long lashes

For a little man

Dimpled chin

Cheeks, pale pink

Quizzical Expression

One who thinks

Answer to prayer

From One above

Parents in awe

Wordless love

My Favorite Time of Year!

Guess what a week from today is! Yes, THANKSGIVING! I love, love, love this holiday for many reasons. I love the holiday itself and the history behind it. I love the family time that comes along with Thanksgiving ... and I love that Christmas music starts playing on the radio! Yes, a week from today means that Christmas is on its way.

Christmas time is very special to me and to my family. Before I go on with this blog, I want to make it clear that in this household this day is special because Christmas celebrates our saviour, Jesus Christ. He is the "reason for the season." However, we also love all of the neat and wonderful things that give Christmas some of its extra celebration sparkles. We love cutting down our very own tree and decorating it (rather meagerly) with whatever we have available to us. We love making attempts at Christmas cookies. We love star lightings and candle lightings and caroling. And, last year, we loved making our very own Christmas card -- complete with me and Andrew and a cat and a chicken and my pregnant belly all dressed up in a tacky red sweater with a bow on it!

This year, we are putting some extra thought into our card. You see, now we are a family of three. I know that we are going to save our card forever and ever ... and I also know that so many people are so excited to get a picture of our little one in the mail. Fortunately, Shutterfly has so many cards for us to choose from. There are simple cards that draw your eye to one beautiful picture -- this would be Andrew's type of card. And, for people like me that can have that "more is more" mentality, there are cards where you can put bunches of pictures! Yes, I so think that simple is beautiful ... but I am so indecisive when it comes to that kind of stuff. Yay for lots of pictures so I can use all of the photos I like! There are cards that have cool, muted colors that remind you of snowflake filled winters and hot cocoa with marshmallows. If you're more of a festive yipee! person, you can choose bright red and green gold-trimmed cards as well. Yes, there are pages and pages! Which card should I choose? Help me out, friends! Go to www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/holiday-cards. Our family would like your assistance in helping us choose the perfect card for this year.

Thank you! We'll be coming soon to a mailbox near you :-)

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

In a few days, it will be your birthday. To many, maybe even to you, November 19ths are merely days that come once a year. However, to me, it is one of my very favorite holidays. November 19^th is worth celebrating – it is the birthday of my hero, my dad. This year, I have wondered what to get you. I am not sure what you want that you do not already have. And, knowing you, if I asked you would tell me that you don’t need anything. So this year I have decided to write you a note to let you know how much you mean to me. I know that you already know how much I love you, but sometimes it’s nice to have a tangible reminder of such sentiments.

I cannot remember too much from my early years. However, my earliest memories have you in them. In fact, I remember having a white bib with navy lettering and a navy border that said I that I wanted to be a lawyer when I grew up. I remember looking at that bib a few years after I wore it and asking what it said. I did not know what a lawyer was but I knew I wanted to be a lawyer because that’s what you were … and I wanted to be just like you. Did you know that I wanted to be a lawyer for years and years for that fact alone? Since then, I have decided that law is not the career path for me … but that does not negate the fact that I still want to be like you in many ways.

I love the parent that you are. Dad, you even went to Brownie Girl Scouts with me! When I was in first grade, you and I went on a Mother/Daughter Girl Scout camp out. Mom was pregnant, and I was too young to attend by myself. Back then, I did not think twice about the fact that you made corn husk dolls, butter, and aprons with me and other girls and their mommies. Now I know how very blessed I am to have grown up with a father who would be in my life no matter what … even if that meant singing Kumbaya around a camp fire.

Dad, you did big things with me. We went on overnight field trips together. All of the boys wanted you to be their chaperone. They all knew that you were fun and kind. Shy me made lots of friends because my dad was the coolest! In fact, it got to the point where the teacher had to draw names out of a hat because of your popularity. I could not have been any prouder.

You instilled a love of music in me. You have always loved getting drawn into stories embodied by poignant Broadway tunes. When we listened to songs in the car, you’d tell me about the show that it was written for … the actor that sang it … the composer who wrote it. I used to love my pop quizzes – I scored well because I always listened when you had something to say. Many nights, we would just sit in the car and listen to a song finish before we got out and went inside; Sometimes, we’d pull into the driveway before all of a show’s tunes had been played … and then the car would go into reverse and we’d drive down the beach for a few blocks in order to finish the sequence of tunes. It was the perfect way to end a day.

Speaking of musicals, we attended many shows together. Rain or shine, we went to the theater on Friday nights. Do you remember when that tropical storm hit us while “Ragtime” was playing? Royal Palms and power lines littered our street. You could not get your car onto our street because of all the road blocks. However, nothing would get in the way of us seeing that show together. We walked in the rain and climbed over debris – and basically had a private viewing of one our most favorite musicals ever!

In school, I was quite the academic. I think the biggest reason for my success was the fact that you believed in me. Dad, you were always so proud of me and you made me know that I could do it – so I did. In high school and in college I always knew that you were proud of me. And, if I ever forgot, your friends were always there to remind me of that fact.

I have so many fond memories of you. Walks on the beach … watching the Macy’s Day Parade … feeding the birds … watching 60 Minutes … riding bikes … double movies … going to the zoo and to Disney World … drinking root beer on the boardwalk … listening to stories that you told me about your dad … watching a Maryland / Florida game … going to Costco … Burn’s Steakhouse … the boat … the birth of a child of my own… And I cherish every single one of them.

About one year ago, I found out that the child I was carrying way a boy. It was so easy for Andrew and I to name him “Alan,” as Alan is the name of two of the most important people in our lives. And now, here I am typing this letter with a little six month old Alan Wade on my lap. Like you, he is sweet and funny and on the bald side. I hope that he will embody the traits that I so love about you.

Dad, on this November 19^th, I hope that you have the most wonderful birthday yet. I hope that you get to see two movies in a row, have a wonderful birthday dinner, and then have strawberry short cake for dessert. I hope that you unwrap presents that will simultaneously make you smile and touch your heart. And when it’s time for you to go to bed, I hope that you know that you have meant so much to so many people for 63 years and that you will continue to do just that for years to come. Happy birthday. God bless you. Thank you. I love you, Dad.

Love always,

Anna

Something Special

Today I had my first real day off of school since I started working again. Usually, on my days off, I love to get out and do something special. To me, staying inside all day is a bit boring. Well, I guess that's how I used to be. You see, today I did nothing special. I stayed in bed for a long, long time. Me and baby snuggled half-asleep through the morning news, Rachael Ray, Doctor Oz, and The Price is Right. Occasionally we would get up for a sip of herbal tea or milk, but that was about it. Yes, the day slipped by. Me ... and baby ... and Andrew ... lazily loving each other in a little blue cottage. And now, at the end of the day, I realize that I have learned something new. Sometimes "nothing specials" are the most special things of all.

Us

I love my husband and my son. They are the best in the whole world! We have fun together.

Here we are ... the bee keepers and their extra-special bee, "Budro."

Thank you, Shane Greene, for the picture!

Hi Baby

Dear Sprout,

Well, you here you are beside me, asleep. Just a few moments ago you were a wide-eyed wild man! I think that you were extra happy to see me today. I am always so happy to see you. I am pretty tired and I need a good night's sleep. But, at the same time, I so wish that I had more day time hours with you. To tell you the truth, when you wake up in the middle of the night, part of me is kind of thrilled! (Shhh! :-) ). I just love holding you and loving you and watching you smile at me. You really have given me a new found love for the p.m. hours. At night time, I can dedicate myself to you 100% ... I don't have anything else to do ... no work, no phone calls, no chores ... just you. So, my little baby, if you decide that you do not want to sleep through the night I don't mind. Sometimes a baby just needs his mommy! And, to tell you the truth, sometimes a mommy just needs her baby, too. I love you, little boy. Sweet dreams! Know that when you wake up, I will be more than happy to rock you in my arms until you fall asleep once more.

Love always,
Mommy

Dream a Little Dream

Dear Sprout,

Although Mommy loves her job, sometimes she is a little bit sad. You will never know just how much she loves you until you have a little baby of your own one day. And Sprout, I think that sometimes Mommy working makes your daddy a little sad, too. But, we prayed about this decision and God has truly blessed this year. Mommy has a great class and is doing really well in her new school. In fact, this could be Mommy's best teaching year ever! Daddy gets to stay at home with you ... and we are one so it's just like I am there, too. Most importantly, you are thriving! Even though life circumstances can be a little hard on us sometimes, we know that God is in control ... and we will thank Him and praise Him and make the very best of each day. Working just makes the time I am home with you even more special.

Daddy really cares a lot about your Mommy. He loves her very much and cares about her feelings. Therefore, he wants to make her time off extra special. In fact, every weekend is family weekend! He takes you and Mama somewhere special and we spend quality time together. Daddy planned this weekend a month ago. And ... it was a surprise. You see, even when you grow up, you will still love surprises.

Today he took us to a place called Love Valley. Love Valley is a small western horse town -- and it's not far from where we live! I have never been anywhere like this before. It was like we went back in time. This town has dusty, dirt road streets. You can carry a pistol, but you have to check it in at the bar ... should you decide to visit it. No cars are allowed in the down town area, but there is ample parking for the horses. Your horse can run full speed through the residential area, but must obey the speed limit in the shopping district. There is a town hall that adjoins the hardware store. Many locals are members of a mule association, as it raises lots of funds to help children in need. Yes, this place was neat. I liked seeing it and being immersed in a brand new culture. However, the thing that I liked best about Love Valley is that it literally is a dream come true.

A long time ago, a little boy named Andy Baker was in the third grade. The teacher asked the children what they wanted to be when they grew up. Lots of young minds had lofty aspirations. Joey wanted to a lawyer! Jane wanted to be a doctor! And little Andy ... well, he wanted to be a cowboy that lived in a really western town. Yes, his dream was different -- but it was a wonderful dream, nonetheless. Too bad that little Andy lived in the booming city of Charlotte. Too bad that cowboys are people of the past. Too bad that western towns didn't exist in the East coast. Too bad that horses were long ago replaced with automobiles. I would have expected that Andy would have grown up, smiled nostalgically at his long ago dream, and moved on. Thank goodness that was not the case. Andy did not grow up and merely blend into the world. Rather, he grew up and planted a church. He figured that every town needed a church, even a cowboy town! Once the most important building was erected, houses and businesses followed suit. And today, fifty years later, a cowboy town still exists right here in North Carolina.

At the end of our visit, we decided to check out the hardware store before we left. When we walked in to door of the toasty warm building, there sat cowboy Andy. He was a long-legged man that wore blue jeans, cowboy boots, a denim shirt, and a wide brimmed hat. His clothing was not flashy; it was well-worn and looked natural on him. He said hello to us and said that you were a cute bee (you were in your Halloween costume). Andy had one of those kind voices that made you instantly trust him. We looked around and went out the door ... but then I knew that I had to go back in and ask this unassuming cowboy if I would have him take a picture with my son. He smiled and stood up to take his photograph with us. Then, he gave us an apple out of a bucket before we left.

You may wonder why Mommy wanted to have a picture taken. Well, you are going to dream many dreams as you grow up. But you will most probably have one dream that tops your list. Most people do. Sadly, most people discard their dreams with other childhood items as they enter adulthood. It's easier to just do what is expected of you. Society reminds me of a school of fish. We all generally go in the same direction and follow others who are in front of us. This makes for a smooth ride. But why?! Why can't we at least try to live out a dream? Why do we have to conform and think in the very back of our minds, "Wouldn't it have been cool if ...?" Maybe we have dreams for a reason. Maybe our strong desires and gifts are programmed into us because they can be used for God's glory. I bet many Love Valley cowboys have graced the entrance of its founding church. And make no mistake, that is a big deal.

When you get older, I cannot wait for you to share your dreams with me. I promise to be your biggest cheerleader and supporter. I will encourage you to pursue what you were born to pursue! I will listed to you, I will research with you, I will plan with you, and I will help you do what you need to do. Your dream may be unique like Andy's ... or it may be the same dream that many others share. Both are equally as wonderful. My dream was to be a wife and mommy -- and I know how very blessed I am to have had my wish come true.

I love you, my little dreamer.

Love always,
Mommy

6 Things I Love about my 6 Month Old

1. I love when he falls asleep on my chest.

2. I love when he smiles.

3. I love when he squeals with delight.

4. I love the look of amazement he has in his eyes when he discovers something new in the world.

5. I love watching him smile why he sleeps.

6. I love how sweet and cuddly he is.

I love being Sprout's mommy.

Sunday

To be honest, I was a little reluctant to go to church Sunday night. Since I started teaching again, I have been running on fumes and trying to get everything done. A big part of me wanted to cry because I knew just how hard I had been working ... and I knew that I would be up all night trying to finish everything ... and I knew the baby would get up a couple of times ... and I knew that I would not be able to catch up on sleep for a week... However, I did not go to the night service the previous week. I knew that I was on the verge of starting a habit that I would regret. I need Sundays.



As Andrew was on stage strumming the bass guitar, the baby and I were sitting on the front pew. Sprout's attention span can only be stretched so far. His squirming became more and more intense. I needed to keep him calm. Instinctively, I held him close to me. My embrace did not allow Baby to flail his arms any longer. Gently, we rocked back and forth together. With each sway, I felt Little Man relax more and more. I kissed the head of a calm and content baby.

As I sat there holding my child, I thought about my Heavenly Father holding me. I am the first one to admit that I rely on myself way too much. I have plans for me and things around me. My persistent nature is one of my greatest gifts and one of my biggest flaws. And when things go this way and that, I flail my arms like crazy as I try to grab all of the pieces and put them back together. While there is nothing wrong about being proactive, there is definitely something wrong with taking things into your own hands. God is in control of everything. I need to allow Him to embrace me and to keep me still. Only then will I find peace and rest.

Moments

Each day after work, your daddy meets me with you in his arms. You look at me and give me this instaneous smile. You go from daddy's embrace to mine ... and you and I just smile at each other for a while. Then I kiss you on your cheeks and you modify your smile to an open-mouthed grin. I nurse you right away. You are always willing to eat and I love to hold you as close to me as possible. All too soon, you are ready to go to sleep ... but I am not ready to put you down. I lay you on my chest and let you dream close to my heart. When I breathe, I mimic your breaths so we feel like we are sharing one body again. You are your own little person now, but I will never be able to separate myself from you. I close my eyes and love the moment. Sometimes I wish that moments would not be fleeting by nature.

I love you, my little boy.

My Husband is Wise

Andrew says, "It's not just what decision we make. It's what we do with that decision once it's made. That matters just as much." God really blessed me with a man who sees beyond situations that are here and now.

Right

Dear Sprout,

As you grow, you will find that it is relatively easy to distinguish right from wrong. Be kind, not mean. Be encouraging and uplifting, not negative and belittleing. Try your best, don't give up. However, you will find that there are also instances when you are not exactly sure what "right" is. There will undoubtedly be times when you will have to make a decision and you pray that you made the correct one. Right now, Mommy and Daddy are doing just that.

When I was pregnant, the decision was made that I would stay home with you. We knew that one income would still cover our expenses. Although a strict budget would have to be enforced, we were determined to make it work. The one thing we did not know was that Dad would be laid off. When this happened, we thought that another job would present itself and that we would continue on with "Plan A." As time went on, we came up with "Plan B" ... we'd both find part time jobs ... easier said than done. Perhaps it's time for "Plan C" -- Mommy will go back to teaching full time and Daddy will stay home with you.

Plans A, B, and C are all different, but they do have one thing in common. One of us will be your caretaker. When praying about this early on, we both thought that Mommy would be that one ... and she still might be, we just aren't sure. Maybe you will get to spend lots of your time with Daddy. Maybe that's "right." You see some babies stay home with mommies, some with daddies, some with relatives or friends, some go to daycare, some go to a sitter... What's correct for one family may not be for another family. Even though all of these options aren't the same, parents do what's best for their particular child at that particular time. And this family, your slightly perplexed family, will continue to pray and seek to do what is best for you. It is so important that in the midst of all this busybody searching mess that Mommy and Daddy remember to BE STILL and know that God knows what is best.

Several years ago, a pastor told me "You want what's good for you but God wants what's best for you." Please remember this.

Love always,
Mommy

Little Note

Dear Sprout,

I don't have much to say tonight, but I wanted to write you a letter anyway. Right now, I am watching you sleep peacefully in your little bed. I am so tired and I had decided that I would go to bed as soon after you were placed in your bassinet. However, here I am looking at you instead. Sometimes I can't believe that you are really here ... that you are my baby ... that I am a mom ... that I have a son... Although I am sleepy, part of me does not want to close my eyes. I know that even the best dream could not top a simple moment like this one. It's a funny thing my little one, some would say that an uneventful night like this is nothing special -- however, I dare say that times like these are the very ones that make our lives a bit more meaningful.

Good night, my sweet boy.

Love always,

Mommy

A Change in Perspective

Dear Sprout,

Yesterday, as I was rocking you back and forth, your daddy and I had a little discussion with you. The most important thing that we told you was that you would always be our little baby -- even when you are 93! Yes, no matter how big you get and no matter how many birthday candles you blow out, you will always be our child. As long as we are on this Earth, we will be praying for you, teaching you, protecting you, and loving you with the kind of love that you will understand when you become a daddy some day. And, when we are in heaven, we will look down and smile at the wonderful old man that is still our little boy.

As I ponder all of these things in my mind, I cannot help but think about the people around me. Most obviously when I see a child, I think about how precious that little one is and how I love you. However, this train of thought is no longer limited to youth. It applies to older people as well ... even people who are much older than I am. For example, if you get a cold, I obviously will do my best to take care of you -- my baby. When you are an old man, and you get a cold, I still want you to be taken care of. Now, even when I see someone who is older who needs something, my heart reminds me that he or she is still someone's child ... "Anna, take care of that precious person." Since I gave birth to you, my perspective on humanity has changed.

Thank you for giving me a mother's heart.

Love always,
Mommy

World Breastfeeding Week

World Breastfeeding Week was August 1st - 7th. In honor of this week, and as suggested by my husband, I am going to share some of my thoughts on nursing.

• As you probably know, breastfeeding had a rocky start for me and for Sprout. When my little guy was an itty-bitty guy, he probably got just as much formula as he did breast milk. We had latching problems, supply issues, and a lack of confidence. However, fortunately for us, the hospital that we delivered at has lactation consultants. I did not know if our case could be helped or not, but I made an appointment because I really wanted to nurse my baby.



• When Sprout was a little over 2 weeks of age, we had our first appointment. Carla was the lactation consultant who helped us. She weighed Sprout before he nursed, helped both of us learn what we were doing, and weighed him afterwards. Next, she helped us learn how to pump. She spent time encouraging us, teaching us, and letting us know that yes, we could do this. Lastly, she scheduled us for another appointment. I came ready to pay for the services that I received. I could not believe that they were free! What an amazing service to me and to our community.



• We have amazing friends who gave us a pump and vitamins and so much more! Can you believe it?!



• Fortunately, I was able to increase my milk supply. At the same time, Sprout needed less and less formula. My child went from fighting nursing sessions to wanting to do nothing else. Yes, my little guy decided that he would like to nurse ... constantly. Although I enjoyed our time together, I felt like I could get nothing done. I was a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of constant nursing for months to come and I started to doubt my ability to continue. And then, one day, my baby decided that he would put himself on a schedule ... just like that! All of the sudden, we would nurse and then we would do other things for a couple of hours. And Sprout was happy and I was ecstatic and Andrew was amazed at how easy everything had become.



• This brings me to the next point ... the support group. The lactation consultants at the hospital offer a free monthly breastfeeding support group. Here, they weigh your baby before and after feedings. I always have a million questions that I can ask. There are other mothers that have had similar obstacles and they have been amazing source of help and encouragement as well. Lastly, the support group has helped me make and keep monthly goals. During tougher times, I just told myself "You can do this until the next meeting. You can. You can. You can." And, so far, I have. I have. I have.



• Now, here we are, and things have become second nature to us. I am so thankful to the professionals, friends, and family members that have helped us. Our current plan is to continue to breastfeed as long as mommy and baby are happy to do so. :)

A True Story

Once upon a time, there was a mommy who loved her baby very much. She wanted to give him everything that he would ever need ... because in just four short months, he had already given her more than she could have ever asked for. The end.

Cookies and More

Andrew is out of town ... and Sprout and I decided that we would rather not have dinner alone. Where we would go was not even a question in our minds -- we would go to Grammy and Poppy's, of course! Every meal I have ever had there has been absolutely wonderful. Sometimes you just need something that is 100% homemade.



While Debbie was chopping the cabbage for the coleslaw, I spotted something with my eye. There, right in front of me, was a bag of milk chocolate chips. I walked up to the pantry closet, grabbed the bag and said, "Me and Richard were thinking that it might be nice to have some chocolate chip cookies." Even though Richard had not told me that, I knew that he would agree because the two of us share some brain cells. Debbie went on with her cooking -- she is used to this type of behavior. "Probably if make some cookies today, Richard and I would not ask again for awhile," I said nonchalantly. "I really have a hankering for some chocolate chip cookies," Richard agreed. "Well, if you want them, you can make them. Here is a recipe," Debbie responded. Yes! Today was going to end perfectly. Dinner, cookies, bedtime.



After we were finished with dinner, it was time to make the cookies. Debbie helped me get everything out first. As we pulled out the flour, baking powder, coconut, and brown sugar, I smiled at the collection of jars and bowls that held the ingredients. One day, when I keep staples in my house, I am going to keep them eclectic containers as well. I don't want to go out and buy jars, rather I want each container to have a story behind it. By doing that, every time I get my flour out, I will have a memory to go with it.



As I measured and mixed, I used my Julia Childs voice and pretended that I was filming a cooking show. I even put some flour on my cheek for an extra effect. Although I was having a lot of fun, I wished that Andrew was there with me. He would have been my cousin from France who would have voiced random cooking tips throughout my tutorial. All in all, I did a great job (Debbie helped to ensure that). I looked authentic, minus the mess I made on the counter. I can never keep a clean working area while cooking ... I try, but it just doesn't work out for me. However, despite the spilled flour, the end product was wonderful. The cookies were a success.

It's going to be so fun to bake cookies with Sprout one day. He's going to love cracking eggs and mixing batter and licking spoons. And yes, I am going to let him lick the spoon despite my tendency to be a bit of a neurotic mommy. We'll use cookbooks, family recipes, and we'll even invent our own culinary creations. We'll store our cookies in oval shaped tin cans that are housed on our bookshelf. That way, right before bedtime, we can grab a story and a cookie to ensure sweet dreams.

Island Cookies

1 2/3 cups of all-purpose flour 1 tsp. vanilla extract

3/4 tsp. of baking powder 1 egg

1/2 tsp. of baking soda 1 3/4 cups of milk chocolate chips

1/2 tsp. of salt 1 cup of flaked coconut

1 1/2 sticks of softened butter 3/4 cup of chopped walnuts

3/4 cup of brown sugar

1/2 cup granulated sugar



Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl. Beat butter, brown sugar, granulated sugar, and vanilla extract in a large mixer bowl until creamy. Beat in egg. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels, coconut, and nuts. Drop by slightly rounded tablespoon onto greased baking sheets.



Bake at 375 degrees for 8 to 11 minutes (we baked them for 8) or until edges are lightly browned. Let stand for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely. Makes 3 dozen cookies.



Note: This is a Nestle Toll House recipe :-) Thanks guys and good job!

Sprout's Birth Story

Dear Sprout,

Today you are four months old. You love to eat, you love to talk, and you love to stand up (with help) on your bowed legs. You are a big fan of bath tubs but you are not quite sure about showers. Your smile lights up my world. In the four months that you have been here, you have irreversibly changed my life. Here is the story of the day that I held you in my arms for the very first time.

April 22 was a Thursday ... it was the longest day of my life. You, my little friend, decided that you did not want to born any time soon. Your daddy and I were told to be at the hospital by 6:00 p.m. sharp so that I could be induced. I cannot begin to tell how agonizingly patient I had to be that day. We had our suitcases packed for over a week ... and with each passing hour, I added more things to our already stuffed bags. What can I say-- I wanted to be productive. Finally, the time came to take the 20 minute car ride that would change life as we knew it. All of our necessities (and last minute nonessential additions) were placed into my Honda Accord. Needless to say, my sedan was full to the brim. Honestly, it looked like Daddy and I were moving to California.

When we arrived at the hospital, we called your Aunt Tammy. She was already there visiting her Uncle Benny. While I was confined to a bed with an IV in one arm and a blood pressure cuff on the other arm, Aunt Tammy and Daddy brought up our belongings. Daddy gave me a teddy bear that he had as a boy -- I wanted to sleep with it so I would not feel quite as alone in my bed (Dad had to sleep on a couch). I put your little carved cross on the table next to me. The doctor gave me some medicine at 8:00 p.m. Finally, it was time to sleep. However, I could not help staying awake the entire night.

At 6:00 the next morning, I was given a pitocin drip. That stuff is a bit scary to me ... but it certainly did its job! As the amount of medicine gradually increased, my contractions became stronger and more regular. I was a little uncomfortable, but I was okay. When I was between 2 and 3 cm dilated, my water broke and intense pain took its place. I had planned on getting an epidural at 5 cm --but I immediately changed my mind. Let me tell you, hooray for epidurals! From that point on, my labor progressed at a much faster pace. By 9:00 p.m., it was time to push. Poor you got stuck and mama had to work extra hard. A crowd of friends and family members were gathered outside our door, listening intently for your cry. Daddy, a nurse, and a doctor (who looked remarkably like Steve Carrel) were helping me while Dona was seated on the other side of the room, praying us through the entire process. Finally, I heard the words, "Okay, stop pushing. We're going to have a baby!"

The whole thing was surreal. There I was, looking around the room as the bed was broken down. To my left, a nurse was getting ready for you at the baby warmer. In front of me, there was a table stocked full of all kinds of different baby-delivery utensils. This was really happening. I was really going to have a baby. "Okay, one big push. Good. Stop." The doctor turned your head around and suctioned out your mouth and nose. Your daddy watched in amazement as you looked intently around at the outside world for the first time. "Good. Now two little pushes. One. Two. ... Congratulations!" You cried softly. For a second, you were placed on my chest. My baby. Then you were quickly whisked away to the baby warmer. The doctor was working on me as a nurse was working on you. I was looking towards you and then you started crying that loud, healthy baby cry. Relief. I had a baby and he was doing great. I had you.

I remember when they gave you to me. The moment I had dreamed about for my whole life was finally upon me. I was a mommy holding my baby. I looked at you and you stared into my eyes. You knew exactly who I was. Daddy was by our side. There we were ... a real family! Our loved ones entered the room. Smiling faces, cameras, and i-phones surrounded us. We were a part of a crowd and we were separate from the crowd at the same time. You blended two families together and you created a new one as well. To those in room 202, you were son, grandson, great-grandson, nephew, and little friend. You gave each one of us a new title and a new purpose in life.

On April 23, 2010, at 11:45 p.m., God blessed us all with you.

Love always,

Mommy

I Love It

The baby is fast asleep. He smiles when he sleeps. I love it.

Nursing has been wonderful. There have been several days where I have not had to supplement. For the first time, it feels absolutely natural to me. I love it.

The cat is laying down with all four paws curled underneath her fat body. She is a "kitty loaf." I love it.

I wrote a little story. I am writing once more. I love it.

It is night. Crickets are chirping. Moths are flying in front of the outside lights. I love it.

Andrew is playing his guitar. He and Hayden are working on songs. I can feel Andrew's smile. I love it.

Today is Friday

One Friday later, both of us are still unemployed. Andrew has been helping his dad with a few projects. I have been taking care of baby. Both of us have sought job opportunities ... to no avail. However, this typical Nervous Nellie (aka me) is unusually calm despite the circumstances. We have been praying that God will open and shut doors and that He will guide us through this unfamiliar territory. This week, many of the solutions that I have come up with in my head have become null and void -- but it's okay! I trust Him way more than I trust myself.

Honestly, I never imagined that I would be in the situation that I am currently in. For one thing, I was a professional student throughout my academic career. During that time, I had imagined myself to be a powerful business woman who could take on the world -- and who would always have a paying job. Now, here I am ... my life is so much different than I had envisioned. Thank you, God! I know that many women would say the same thing, but I truly believe that I have the very best husband in the whole entire world. As a result of our love, we have the most amazing baby whom we have the most incredible adoration for. I would have thought that enduring this set of circumstances so early in our marriage would have caused Andrew and I a great deal of stress -- quite the contrary. This week has been wonderful. I believe that it has proved to both of us that we do trust our Father and we will always absolutely love each other ... for better or for worse ... for richer or for poorer ... I am so glad that God is writing the story of our lives and not me. He has done a much more grander job than I ever would have.

Trust

Yesterday I was sitting on my bed with Sprout in my arms. Suddenly, Shimmer jumped off of the blue arm chair and ran to the door. She did not bark, so I immediately knew that a friend was at the door. When I heard the door open, I smiled at that familiar voice that was calling my name. Andrew was home just in time for lunch. My sweet husband has been known to surprise me like this. He entered the room. "You came home for lunch," I said. "No." "You're here to surprise me," I answered back. "Nope." "You were laid off." "Yep." After ten years of working at a local company, Andrew was given a pink slip.

Because of our economy's current state, I knew that this was a possibility. However, for some reason I think that we were both a bit shocked. We looked at each other. A few months earlier, I had given up my job to stay home with Sprout. All of the sudden, there we were in our little house with a little baby -- two homeowners, two parents, no job.

To be quite honest, I am not completely devastated by this news. For one thing, this is an opportunity for Andrew. Although he enjoyed ten successful years at his job, he put other interests "on the side burner," so to speak. Now he can pursue the things that he was too busy to dedicate himself to before. He can turn a passion into a profession. This may be just what he needed.

As for me, I may have to go to work. Part time, half time, full time ... I don't know. I am not sure what jobs are available at this point. I am fine with working and I am a people-person who likes to have opportunities to talk. The only thing that concerns me is my little baby. How I have loved these months with him. Although he is very young, I have raised him with my personal beliefs in mind. I read to him, I sing to him, and I hold him when he cries. If he needs his mama to hold him nonstop for hours, then that is what I do. My heart keeps telling me that my baby needs me. However, I do know that Sprout has a daddy and grandparents who love him just as much as I do. I know that they will give him what he needs, just like I would. Maybe I'll be sad, but he'll be just fine. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And sometimes you have to trust in Someone bigger than yourself ... He will work everything out for the best, I just know He will...

So here we are, a brand new family on a brand new journey. We trust one another and we put our ultimate trust in God. Our lives have been fast paced with new things around every bend. And you know what? We have been blessed by every new adventure that has been placed in our path.

A Few Random Things

1. This morning, there was a bug in this very house. It was not just any bug -- it was a prehistoric bug left over from the dinosaur era! Yes, it kind of reminded me of the Stegosaurus with its rough, armor looking exoskeleton. You may be wondering how I spotted this bug. Well, I saw our CAT (Stubby) staring at something ... and it was the bug. I was hoping she would pounce on that thing like any other feline would do, but she was content just to stare. Therefore, I had to pick it up with a paper towel and relocate it to the front yard. Thank you so much, Stubby, for all of your help.
2. Lately I have noticed that when I buckle Sprout into his car seat, I end up just sitting next to him for a minute or two. And we talk to each other or we just smile. It doesn't matter if I am running late or that I see him all day long, car seat time has become a special little moment for us.
3. Today at lunch, I did not have too much time to spare. Therefore, I ate an avocado and a banana. It was delicious and it filled me up. I felt good about myself because I made a healthy life choice! I think I will go to the store and buy more so I can repeat this process tomorrow.
4. My mother-in-law, Debbie, said I was a fantastic mom. In other words, she gave me a confidence boost just when I needed it. I need to remember to encourage others on a regular basis. You never know when a kind word will give someone the extra pep in their step!
5. I am working on spreading out nursing sessions. I know it has one been a day and a half, but things are going well. :-) We're still learning!
6. Debbie found a website called "Tipnut" and it tells you how to make EVERYTHING! I am going to try some things out and let you know how it goes! Hopefully, it will help us with our budget ... a very important thing since I am staying home this year.

Things for Me and You to Do

Dear Sprout,

Right now, you are an itty-bitty baby. At this point, you need Mommy and Daddy to do just about everything for you -- and do not despair, we love taking care of our sweet boy! And guess what! You can do new things every single day! As a family, we are going to do so many wonderful things together in the days to come. Among those things are five seemingly impossible feats. But remember, you are a Shook! And we Shooks can do just about anything when we work together! Here is "the list":

1. We are going to make marshmallows. For the vast majority of my life, I believed that you could only purchase marshmallows from your local grocery store. I thought that to make these fluffy sweets, some special engineered machine was absolutely necessary. However, I was wrong! Thank goodness! Yes, we are going to make our very own marshmallows. Do you know what the very best part of making our own marshmallows is? Homemade marshmallows can only lead to one thing ... the best S'mores ever!

2. We are going light up a dark room with no batteries, electricity, or candles. Although I am not a fan of bugs in general, I am a HUGE fan of fireflies. I just think that they are so wonderful. During the day, they look like plain brown bugs. However, they are really extraordinary! They give out such a beautiful yellow glow. In fact, just one little firefly can easily pierce through darkness. Imagine what a whole jar of fireflies could do! Yes, we are going to light a room with a Ball canning jar full of these amazing little creatures. And, of course, we are going to let them go when we are done. :-)

Disclaimer: The participants shall light up a rather small room.

3. We are going to save our Christmas tree! Last year, your daddy and I went to a Christmas tree farm and picked out the most lovely tree that you have ever seen. We showed the farmer which tree we wanted and then a big horse with a sled pulled the freshly cut pine to the entrance. We are going to get our tree from that place every year ... and we're going to bring lots of carrots with us! I love Christmas trees very much --but I am always a little sad when it's time to lay them by a curbside. I didn't know there was any other option until your very own uncle saved the day! He told us you can re-root your tree. In fact, he knows someone who actually did just that! Don't you think it would be great if we did that, too? Yes sir, we are going to re-root a tree (or 2 or 3 or 4) right in our front yard. At first, our neighbors will probably think we're a bit confused ... but then they'll see that our plan will work! Who knows ... maybe we'll inspire them to do the same and our little street will forever be lined with Christmas trees.

4. We are going to give away dozens of eggs using just one egg. As you know, we have chickens. We love those "bock-bockings," don't we? Our first chicken, June, was purchased as a little chick and spent her first few weeks in my second grade classroom. My initial plan was to give her back to our friends who own the feed store, but I fell in love with her so she resides here with us. She has four chicken siblings that we purchased as teenagers and adults. Do you know what we have never done? We have not hatched a chicken from an egg yet. When you are older, we are going to do just that. We are going to get some Ameraucana chicken eggs (they come in pretty pink and blue colors) and we are going to put them in an incubator and watch little babies peck their way through eggshells. Afterwards, you are going to pick out your very own chicken. I bet you will be so excited to see her lay pastel-colored eggs one day. Together, we will decorate egg cartons with paint and ribbons and glitter. Then we will fill the cartons with your special eggs. Our church has a ministry that gives away garden goods to folks who need them. Each month we will give them beautiful boxes of Easter eggs to share with others.

5. See things that cannot be seen. When I was growing up in Florida, I lived fairly close to a hospital. Sadly, some people would tease the hospital's inhabitants and call them names. One morning, Dad drove my sister Nikki and I passed the place on our way to breakfast. He told us to never make fun of the people who lived there. Dad explained that we don't know why patients entered the hospital's doors. Perhaps someone had lost his whole family and as a result had lost his mind as well. Although I was very young at the time, that moment proved to be one of those parent-child times that I will never forget. Sprout, it is easy to give people labels -- nice, mean, dumb, smart, pretty, ugly... Let's try not to do that. Take time to understand someone and "walk around in his shoes." And if you meet someone who is particularly difficult, care about that person anyway. Remember, if you are in a situation where you think you cannot open your heart, pray that God will love that person through you and He will.

Yes, my little man, there are so many things that we are going to do. This list is but a sample of what we have in store! Feel free to add to our "unlikely" compilation. Like the fabled character Don Quixote, always dare to dream the impossible dream!

Love always,

Mommy

I Don't Know

Let me preface this by saying that I think breastfeeding is wonderful. It has countless health benefits and it also is a source of bonding for mom and baby. I, like many mothers, was gung-ho on nursing my little man for his first year of life. Now, I honestly do not know if I will make it to the end of this month... This is a very, very sad thing for me.

After a baby is born, it is normal for him to lose up to 10% of his body weight. However, he should be back to his birth weight by two weeks of age. This was not the case for poor little Sprout. When I took him to his two week appointment and I saw that he was not where he was supposed to be, my heart sank. I was so sad that I was not making enough milk for my little baby. I was reluctant to supplement, but I knew that Sprout needed adequate nutrition to grow and I did not want him to be hungry at all. From the beginning of my pregnancy I promised him that I would do my best to give him everything that he needed and I was saddened that I could not completely provide for him in this area.

A few days after I started supplementing, I went to see a lactation consultant ... and it is because of her that I have been able to nurse this long. While there, I discovered that Sprout was not latching on correctly. The consultant showed me how to help him latch on like he should -- and I was amazed at the lack of pain that I felt! She also told me how I could pump to increase my supply. Therefore, for approximately six weeks I nursed, pumped, and supplemented (every 2 to 3 hours). Eventually, my milk supply increased. Sprout became very good at nursing and I stopped pumping ... and my milk supply increased even more! In fact there were days when I could give my little guy two ounces of formula or less. I was very encouraged and very determined to persevere.

You may be wondering what the problem is at this point. Well, I nurse continuously. And though I love being close to my child, there are days when we don't make it an hour and a half without nursing. I know that he is growing like he should -- he has been steadily progressing at the fiftieth percentile. What I think is happening is that he naps while he nurses and I am his human pacifier ... and then he wakes up and is hungry ... and then he nurses for real ... and the cycle continues until he falls asleep for the night.

Babies at Sprout's age should be able to get what they need in a half an hour. However, I am afraid to cut him off at that point. What if he didn't get what he needed? What if he was napping-nursing? Also, some babies nurse for comfort and security just as much as they do for nutrition; if that is the case, I certainly want to be there for him. On the other hand, by nursing him so extensively, am I taking away from other activities that I should be doing with him? Is he nursing so often because he needs more ... would it be better for me to give him formula to satisfy his little tummy in a more timely manner? I want to do what is right for him.

One answer to this dilemma would be to supplement him more. However, breast milk is a supply and demand thing. If I supplement more, then my supply will go down. "Breast is best" and I do want to give him the best. But am I? Or am I depriving him of other important things? Right now, I am not exactly the mommy that I imagined I would be. I simply do not have the opportunities to do all of the things that I envisioned doing. At this time, am I doing the right thing? Will things get easier when he starts solids? Should I supplement more? Should I take pride (and comfort) in knowing that I truly did my very best in this particular facet of motherhood ... but accept the fact that it may be reasonable to give my child more formula?

You know, I never imagined that decisions that involve nursing my baby would be so gut-wrenching. For some reason, this issue cuts me to the core (pardon the cliches). I want to give my child what he needs. I just don't know what his exact needs are. I love nursing my boy and holding him so close to my heart and I am not ready for that to end this soon. I know I am rambling ... I tend to that when I don't know what to do...

Dear Sprout,
Right now you are at an age where I must make decisions for you. You are so tiny and you must trust Mommy and Daddy for just about everything. I pray that I will do what is best for you. Please understand that I will make mistakes while I raise you ... but I promise you that I will have tried my best to do what is right at each instance. Know, no matter what decision is ultimately made, that I have cherished these months nursing you.
Love always,
Mommy

Singing

Singing a little baby to sleep is pure bliss. Sometimes I sing traditional lullabies, but not usually. For one thing, I don't quite understand the lyrics to "Rockabye Baby." I have found that I enjoy singing hymns instead. Their sing-song melodies comfort my baby and their words give me the perspective I need at the day's end.

Mom and Sprout Go Out

Our community offers wonderful (and free) baby classes that I love to attend. Today Sprout and I went to infant massage. Unfortunately Sprout has never enjoyed all of the benefits of a massage because he would rather eat. However, I can assure you that he is supremely happy to attend. Having a full belly and watching other babies are two of my young man's favorite things. Maybe one day soon he will add a massage to this repertoire. Anyway, I think it's great ...

Today most of us went out to eat when our class was over. How fun! We had a long table full of mommies and babies. Some people may quip and say that they would feel bad for the other customers. However, I think that most of those around us rather enjoyed our little bald headed rolly-pollies. Somehow, no matter what your day has been like, seeing a baby can add just enough sunshine to put a smirk on your face. I bet after sharing a restaurant with eight babies, our neighboring diners were beaming! :-)

Bath Time

Andrew: Let's be sure to clean his little fat rolls.

Me: They're not fat rolls. They're beauty creases. :-)

One Year Ago, Yesterday

Dear Sprout,

One year ago (yesterday), I found out that you were on your way!

Your daddy and I had been married for a short time and all of the sudden I just felt pregnant. I remembered how the two of us joked that I knew the feeling because I had been pregnant so many times before! However, all joking aside, I just knew. Therefore, we prayed for our future children together from that point forward. Sometimes I think that maybe God let me know that I was pregnant early on so that we could pray for you from the start.

August 1, 2009 was a special day for many reasons. For one thing, your Uncle Ben and Aunt Shannon got married! Daddy was a groomsman at the wedding. At the conclusion of a very beautiful ceremony, daddy and the rest of the bridal party were getting their pictures taken before the reception. While photos were being snapped, I ran home to let Shimmer out. Okay, maybe I left to let Shimmer out and to take a pregnancy test… Before I knew it, I was staring at a positive pregnancy test while crazy Shimmer was outside with the chickens. I wondered, “Does a blue line count even if it’s a very pale blue?” I let Shimmer back into the house, put the pregnancy test in my purse, and returned to the church.

When the photo session was finished, your daddy motioned for me. We both hopped into his truck to leave for the party. As I was starting to tell your dad about you, he noticed that I had one of looks on my face. Do you know what that man thought?! He thought that I was going to tell him that Shimmer hurt one of the chickens! Can you imagine how happy he must have been when I told him that we might have a baby on the way? I showed him the test and he saw a blue line, too. Daddy drove to the reception very carefully because we had a baby on board.

The celebration that night was beautiful. The bride and groom were lovely. Twinkling lights and wheat grass sprouts gave Club Cola the perfect amount of prettiness. We ate tacos, drank punch, and devoured wedding cake. And when we danced, we just smiled at one another and looked into each other’s eyes the whole time. I bet that the people who watched us must have thought that we were very much in love – and they were right! We were madly in love with each other and madly in love with you.

Love always,

Mommy

2 Things

Yesterday evening, I took Sprout on a little walk. It was a nice and quiet little time that we shared (with the exception of a Golden Retriever who kept running to the edge of his invisible fence while barking like at us like we were thieves in the night). Anyway, I got to thinking about two things that I am grateful for…

1. I am grateful for my stroller! It has a fantastic story behind it … and here it is! July third was my birthday. I received $50.00 and I knew exactly what I would do with that money. I was going to buy Sprout a stroller! A nice, lightweight stroller. That morning Andrew and I dropped Sprout off at his grandparents’ house and we went straight to Babies-R-Us. As we got to the stroller section, I noticed that there were two models that were 75% off – one was for twins and the other was a red Peg Perego. As Andrew and I were looking at the snazzy, red stroller, we noticed that a sticker was telling us to take an additional 25% off the lowest ticketed price. SOLD! We went up to the cashier and gave her a 20% off coupon and the $50.00. Finally, we paid the remaining $27.00 with our debit card. Yes! We got a $200.00 stroller for $27.00! Don’t you love when stuff like that happens?!

One great thing about my stroller is the fact that it is so light weight – less than nine pounds, to be exact. Because of this, I discovered that I can stroll my baby with one hand and walk beside him instead of in back of him. Most of the time, I stroll my little guy like a normal human being. However, sometimes I just want to look at him and talk to him. Dorky, maybe, but I can’t help it! :-)

2. I never imagined that I would say this, but I am grateful that mosquitoes love me. I am not over exaggerating when I say that I can have 20 bites in about 5 minutes! Whenever I am outside with a group of people during a sticky summer day, everyone else is safe because all of the bugs are attracted to me. Honestly, Andrew and I can be outside for hours – I, of course, will be bitten up and my husband will be bite free. This got me to thinking… Insect repellent is not very safe for babies because their skin is super absorbent. No bug spray for Sprout – no problem! We can go on nice long walks and I don’t have to worry about mosquitoes biting my baby. Yes folks, this mommy is a nontoxic bug protector! I bet you didn’t know that I was so talented! Heheehe!

A Growing Sprout

I have an assortment of gift bags that were once filled with baby shower presents. When you receive an item in such a bag, you are really receiving two gifts! Obviously, gift bags can easily be re-used when you have a gift to give. However, they can also be used for other things as well. For example, I have a large blue gift bag that is adorned with flowers, bugs, and polka-dots. I keep it open in my closet. Whenever Sprout outgrows an outfit, I clean it, fold it, and place it in that bag. Inside that bag there are the teddy-bear pajamas that Sprout wore for his newborn picture. You will also find the striped onesie that Sprout peed through while his daddy was holding him. A little guitar outfit currently tops the pile -- that is the first outfit that we ever purchased for our baby ... we used it to tell Richard and Debbie that they were going to be grandparents. My ever expanding collection of outgrown clothes is more like an anthology of memories.

When I hold my little guy in my arms, I often imagine what our upcoming days will be like. I try to picture what his little smile will look like when his two bottom teeth come in. I can see myself feeding homemade baby food and I laugh to myself when the image of his food-covered happy face comes to my mind. I often wonder what I will be doing when I hear my little man calls me "mama" for the first time. I bet I will wonder if I really heard "mama" for a second ... and then I will scoop that little guy up and give him a million kisses while I call Andrew to tell him every detail. I can see Sprout run to the door when he hears Andrew's car pull into our driveway and he will yell "Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!" like I used to when his hero enters our house. What amazing times are in store for us!

As I simultaneously miss memories and anticipate the future, I am careful not to overlook the present. What a little blessing this very moment is. Thank you, God, for right now! Thank you for a baby sleeping contently in blue-striped pajamas. I love this time so very much.

Holding You

Dear Sprout,

You like to nurse -- all of the time. While other babies nurse for 30 minutes and are done for about three hours, you nurse for three hours and are done for 30 minutes! (slight exaggeration) Sometimes I get discouraged because I never complete the mental checklist I prepare for myself at the start of each day. However, I can't help but notice that when you are not in my arms I long to hold you. Perhaps it's because we shared a body for nine months. Before you, I was a true busybody; Staying still was not one of my characteristics. Now, for the first time in my life, I must be stationary. I look down at you and there you are loving being close to your mommy. I smile because I also love having you close to me. As your mom, I try to do what is best for you. Maybe, in your own little way, you know what is best for me, too.

Love always,
Mommy

Three Cheers

Today Sprout is three months old! Really, he is more like a year old; I carried him inside of me for nine months and I've held him in my arms for these past three months. My husband and I have been blessed with Sprout for almost our entire marriage. In fact, day one of Sprout was estimated to be day ten of our days as man and wife. Some well-meaning people have said that it would have been better to have spent a year together getting to know each other before becoming parents. While that may be the case for some, Sprout added such depth to our relationship. Andrew went to every check-up with me. He listened to me when I read him excerpts from multiple baby books and he told me when to put the literature down and trust God. Andrew read Sprout stories, sang to him, and prayed aloud for him. I know my little guy recognized a gentle voice and knew exactly whom his daddy was as soon as he was born.

Now that Sprout is here, he enjoys playing horsey and airplane with his old man. When he is in his car seat, a place he doesn't particularly like, he is soothed by a CD that Andrew made just for him. Each night at bedtime, Sprout falls fast asleep in his daddy's arms. I confess that this new mom does not have everything together. The house is not as clean as I would like it to be, dinner is unpredictable, and sometimes my son is the only one who has all of his basic needs met. I am competitive with myself and I would like to feel like everyday is an A-plus day. However, even when I have a day that does not even come remotely close to making the grade, Andrew can put everything into perspective for me. We're a family, we love each other, we have been very blessed -- who cares if our overcooked chicken dinner would best be described as chicken jerky?!

Thank you, Andrew, for everything. We love you so much! Three cheers for you! Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray! Hip-hip hooray!

Last Night

Last night you were awake after your usual bedtime. I was in bed and you were sitting on my stomach. You kept looking into my eyes and giving me these enormous smiles -- smiles that say, "You are the best person in the whole world!" I smiled right back at you, but I had a bittersweet feeling in my heart. There you were overjoyed with your mommy ... I wish I was as great as you think I am. You see Sprout, mommies want the very best for their children. I have such high hopes for you. I want you to grow up to be a man characterized by his honesty, integrity, loyalty, and dignity. I want you to always think about others. I want you to be a man of faith who has the courage to always do what is right and just. I know that you are going to look up to me and I fall short of what I want for you. I promise that I am going to try to make today better than my yesterdays. I am going to work very hard to embody the traits that I want for you. However, remember that I (along with all people) will disappoint you. God is the only one who will never let you down. It is my prayer that you will get to know Him at an early age. You can always look up to your heavenly Father; He will always lead you down the right path.

culinary expertise, please!

Three months from this coming Friday will be a very special day. Baby Sprout will be six months old and I, Anna, will become gourmet baby food maker extraordinaire! I am so excited! I have decided to purchase the Beaba Babycook to help me with this endeavor. This little machine steams, purees, and defrosts! It can do anything and it will pay for itself. I found an amazing website (http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/) that gives you age-appropriate recipes for your child and I want to try each and every one!


Andrew and I want our baby to eat nutritiously from the get-go. Furthermore, when Sprout graduates from baby food, we want him to continue to eat well. I don't want him to go from healthy meals to meals laced with preservatives. This means that I need to learn how to cook NOW. Yes, Andrew and I need to change our eating habits before we pass them on to our little guy.



When I was pregnant, I had an eye-opening experience. I decided I did not want to consume MSG; Little did I know that basically every pre-made food has MSG in it! Yes -- lots of soups, stuffings, and frozen meals are culprits! (Note: yeast extract is basically the same thing as MSG. I did some research on the subject) If I were president, one of the first things I would do would be to mandate every MSG containing food to have a warning on its label (this only second to making sure that every vehicle has a "How's My Driving" number on its back). Let's be realistic here ... I am not saying that I will never cook with preservatives, but I want such an occasion to be the exception rather than the rule.



I need help! Cooking is not my gift and it does not come naturally. I want some simple recipes that I can make for my family. If you are reading this, can you help me with my quest? Do you have a recipe for me?



It is only fair that I give you a recipe, too. This is a cobbler recipe from my culinary-gifted mother-in-law :-). I just made it (with blueberries) last night! It is super simple and fantastically delicious!



Fruit Cobbler

1. Heat your oven at 350 and melt a stick of butter in your dish (use a pie dish or an 8x8ish sized dish)
2. Mix together one cup of milk, one cup of flour, and one cup of sugar.
3. Pour flour mixture over melted butter. No mixing is necessary.
4. Pour fruit of choice on top of everything. Do not mix together.
5. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.
6. Enjoy :-)