Boo

I just got out of the shower because I wanted to wash today away! I guess I thought living out a metaphor would help me to feel better. And, I think it did a bit. Honestly, I think I am just so tired and so analytical that this day was bound to happen. But really, I have no real reason to be down. As one of my friends would say, "I am too blessed to be stressed!" So true. I had my time to pout and worry and be sad and mad ... and now it's time to stop.

Here is a list of good things about today:

1. This silly little blog. I love writing in it! I, Anna, am a nerd. I LOVED writing college papers. Seriously! I really enjoyed tweaking my words and making them just right. I don't know, writing is like arts and crafts for me. I get to make my own creations whenever I am inspired or feel the need to do so.

2. A singing drum. Sprout is in his playpen right now bouncing to the rhythm of a singing drum. It is such a corny little thing but he gets the biggest kick out of it! And I am getting the biggest kick out of watching him dance! Yay drum! Thanks for the laughs.

3. The Avett Brothers. I love music, but I have never been too much of a concert person. I have never gone online to see when and where bands are playing ... until the Avett Brothers came along. I was saddened to see that their closest booking is five hours away. BUT TODAY ALL OF THAT CHANGED! In April, they are going to be in Charlotte and I am going to be there singing along with them. Also, we've inquired about them singing at Sprout's first birthday. More on that later.

4. A good egg. Today at lunch, I peeled my hard boiled egg like a true pro. Usually, half of my egg comes off with the shell. That was an exciting accomplishment for me. And I got extra protein because of it.

5. My class. I love watching my kids grow and learn. And I love that Donna comes in smack-dab in the middle of my day to help out. We all have fun together. And as I walked through the school doors at the end of the day, I thought about the wonderful people that I have worked with this year and in the past.

6. Me and Andrew and Sprout looked at pictures of bulldogs on the Internet. It's one of our favorite past times. One day were are going to have a bulldog of our own and we are going to name it Ferdinand (after the flower smelling bull). Ferdinand is a picture book ... do yourself a favor and read it if you never have.

7. My husband just walked in with a surprise ... a stuffed toy bulldog, an ivy plant, and a rental video! He's the best in the world. And guess what ... Sprout is just like him.

Goodbye for now. It's is time for me to enjoy what is left of this Monday.

Love always,
Anna

PS: Hope we can all get a good night's sleep and wake up all ready for Tuesday!

Sunshine

Dear Sprout,

Today there was sunshine. We have had a very beautiful ... but very cold winter. You love going on walks outside, but we can't take you out for long periods when it is literally freezing. And just when we thought that we would not see a warm and balmy day until March, the thermometer hit 61 degrees! We knew that today had to be spent outside.

Not too far from our little blue cottage, there is a park. It is our very favorite local green area because it's near a neat looking dam and it trails beside a rocky waterway. Though we love our city parks, this one has more of a rural, authentic hiking-in-the-mountains feel. Its paths are not conducive to strollers, so we carried you in a borrowed backpack that has seen three generations of babies.

Do you know what one of the neatest parts of being a parent is? Just looking at and watching your baby. Really! Mommy and Daddy just get the biggest thrill out of watching you discover the world. During the whole hike, you were bouncing and squealing and laughing and looking at everything. You loved the branches, the leaves, the river, and the dogs that passed us on the way. We have never heard you laugh like you laughed today. Seeing your happiness gives us such joy.

As the sun started to set, we made our way back to the car. You fell asleep before we even got to Grammy and Grampy's house. Mommy and Daddy watched you through the rear view mirror. We smiled and held hands and talked about how much we loved being parents. Our day was simple, but splendid. Isn't it wonderful how you can be blessed with a ray of sunshine just when you need it?

Love always,
Mommy

Our Little Ham

5 Things I have Learned

Things I have learned since becoming a mama:

1. Never say never. I said I would never be induced -- I was. I said I wouldn't buy formula -- I did. I said I wouldn't nurse more than three months -- I am. I said I would not fly with an infant -- We flew to Florida and back. I said I would never bring my baby into bed -- oh well. I said I wouldn't work for baby's first year -- I am currently teaching first grade. I said I would not let my house get messy -- yeah right!

2. Do not judge other mamas. I have come to realize that motherhood does not come with a manual. No baby book, not even the ever-so-popular "What to Expect" series, can tell you exactly what you should do. Every baby is different. Every situation is different. And the truth is, we're all running around trying to do what's best because we love our babies so, so much. And this can be so, so hard because "best" does not come with a clearly marked label so we have to pick something out and give it a go and hope with our whole beings that we did the right thing.

3. Get stuff done when you can get it done. Seriously, what I did with all of my time before Sprout is a true mystery to me. What did I do? Did I just sit around? Now when I have a spare moment, I jump on the opportunity to complete a task because I don't know when my next chance will arise. I had a friend ask me the other day how I could get so much done with a little one. It's hard, but seriously, the kid has made me more time efficient than I have ever been before. It is my hope that by getting things done, I will ultimately have more quality, relaxing, loving time with my baby. Still, I always feel a bit behind ... but I think part of that is because I am a bit neurotic.

4. Appreciate your spouse. Honestly, for months I have been thinking about writing a post on how thankful, grateful, blessed, humbled, etc I am about having my Andrew! To sum it all up, I would not be me without him. I wouldn't be half the teacher, half the mother, half the woman I am without him. Truly, I cannot think of an accomplishment that I can claim as my own -- he has helped my reach my goals and dreams. He believes in me. He loves me. He prays for me. He tells me that I am beautiful and wonderful and perfect for him. He takes care of me and Sprout. I love that man forever times infinite and a million, squared.

5. Accept help. I now realize how much people need each other. There is so much ... and there is no way that I can do it all on my own. Sometimes I think about that Bible story with Moses ... and the battle ... and how he had to keep his hands raised if Israel was to prevail ... but his hands were so very tired and heavy ... his friends Aaron and Hur lifted his hands for him! So he could keep them raised. And Israel won! (Exodus 18:12 - So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set.) Wow.

And now that I am done writing this post, and as I ponder right before laying my head down for the night, I can see a common thread that ties my list of five together. Pride. Being a mama has put me in my place, so to speak. I am not what I thought I would be. I do not have it all together, and I never did. Every accomplishment I have ever made strings along a million thank yous -- it is because of the help of others that I have been able to do anything. What a humbling nine months this has been. The most humbling, wonderful, and amazing nine months of my whole entire life.

Hugs

Each afternoon, when I get home from work, I get monkey hugs from a certain little Sprout. He wraps his baby arms around my neck and just sings and sings and sings, "Awwwe. Hmmnnn..." I can feel how happy he is to see me and it warms not just my heart, but my whole entire self. I hope that he can feel how happy I am to see him, too.

Standing Up

My baby is standing up! He can stand all by himself. Growing so fast, so so fast ...

Being a Mommy

Becoming a mommy came with many blessings. Most obviously, I have a beautiful baby who has changed my whole world. And when I think about it, the second biggest gift has been the relationships that have formed because of Sprout. Andrew and I love deeper than ever and Sprout adds an extra element of closeness between us and our loved ones. And to say our friends and church family have been nothing short of amazing is an understatement -- they humble me all of the time. Furthermore, because of being a mommy, I have met other mommy friends. Yep, all of the sudden I made a group of the most wonderful friends. Together, we have watched our infants grow. I remember when we all had them in our laps all of the time ... and then they were able to roll around on a quilt together ... and then one day they were all sitting up together ... and now, in some fashion or another, they are mobile! Throughout the months, we have talked and questioned and wondered ... and we all understand and emphasize because we are all right there, too.

Like my friends, I want Sprout to grow up to be independent, but compassionate. I want him to be smart, but not arrogant. I want him to lead, but put others before himself. I want him to be a man of faith who will take great steps, all the while knowing that God is the one who will be moving his feet.

I used to think that I was a go-with-the-flow kind of person. Now, I am not so sure. You see, like my "mommy friends," seemingly little decisions are big to me when they involve my son. Should I nurse ... should I give formula ... both? When should I start giving solids? Does he need more to eat or am I putting him at risk for allergies? Should he be in a bassinet, in his own room, or in bed with us? What does it mean when he cries? Is he teething, hurting, hungry, or lonely? Should he travel with us and see the world ... are we doing too much too soon? Most of us have had similar questions. Sometimes we do the same things and sometimes we do different things. But every single one of us try with all of our might to do what's best for our baby.

There are a lot of times when I question my decisions. What if I am doing the same thing as everyone else? What if I am doing something that is completely different. And then I remember ... God gave me Sprout. My baby is a unique creation and I was chosen to be his mommy. And this is one of the times when faith comes in ... I pray, I seek, I listen ... and most of the times I will hope and then pray some more. What is right for my Sprout may not be right for my next child or the child next door. And sometimes I will make the right decisions and sometimes my choices will need some major tweeking. That's to be expected ... I am a human, nothing more and nothing less. As I write this, my son is happily exploring his world. And some how I know that he is going to be just fine. And so his Lincoln, and Harrison, and Kyra, and Sami, and Madeline, and Carter, and Sarah, and Liam, and Caden ...and all of them ...

Knight in Shining Armor

Dear Sprout,

Guess what today was! Today was the day that you were invited to a birthday party! Yes, that's right ... you were given an invitation to attend a third birthday party. It was a princess party and you were to dress in your finest attire. Luckily, you were given some clothing items that one of your buddies outgrew. And, among the shirts and pants there was a suit of armor just your size! We made you a crown to top your outfit off (a construction paper crown, but a crown nonetheless). Yep, you went to your first party as a knight in shining armor.

The party was simply adorable. Little princesses and princes were bouncing with happiness. There was pizza, chips and dip, fruits, chocolate, cupcakes, and ice cream. The tables were decorated beautifully with glass slippers, name cards, flowers, and crowns. It was a beautiful party for an even more beautiful little girl. As I held you on my lap and watched the other kids, I could not help but think how my little boy was growing up. You have teeth, you eat food, you stand up, and now you are being invited places. You were as wide-eyed as ever, taking everything in ... and so was I.

As the presents were being opened and desserts were being finished, the clock struck 12:00. Suddenly, you hugged me close and your bottom lip started to quiver. I could feel you bury your face into my neck. You were no longer a knight in shining armor -- you were just a baby who wanted his mama. And you know what, there is something magical about that.

So, my little Sprout, know that I love seeing you grow. I will always remember the extra special birthday that we attended today and the fun that we had. It was like Daddy and I were given a little glimpse of what it will be like to be the parents of a kid. However, know that you will always and forever be mama's little baby. And just like right now, my lap will always be available for you rest upon.

Love always,

Mommy

Just Another Day

Today, I was in desperate need of a nice hot shower. The baby was asleep in his swing so I seized the moment and shampooed my hair. I was just starting to relax when I heard, "WAAA!!!" He woke up. Luckily for me, Andrew soothed the little fellow. My shower was quick, but it was a shower nonetheless. As the old adage goes, "beggars can't be choosers."

Afterwards, a clean me hopped on our bed. I sat the baby on my lap and attempted to feed him pureed vegetables and oatmeal. Throughout this process he wanted to look at his dad and nurse and bounce. Needless to say, we were both covered in baby food. You know, some people pay big money for skin care tonics made from food products. Instead of buying Aveeno, Sprout has all of my dermatological needs covered.

Right now, Andrew is attempting to change Sprout into some clean clothes while simultaneously keeping his sanity. Sprout, on the other hand, is trying to turn onto his tummy so he can crawl, or at least roll, over to me. This post has to be cut short. Bye!

Just another day in our household. Parenthood ... we love it!

Today

So ... today went much better than I thought it would go. It was nice to see the kiddos again and I think that they enjoyed being back in school, too. What's more, my husband helped me laminate and cut out many, many file-folder phonics games. Let's hear it for Andrew! I got home at a decent hour and was thrilled to see my little man. The day ended with a $6.00 pizza, sweet tea, and spelling inventories. Now Little Man is asleep, Husband is editing pictures, and I am typing away. I got a lot accomplished today. Tomorrow I hope to be home a tad earlier so I can hold Sprout just a bit longer before it is time to go to bed.

On a side note, I am so grateful for Andrew. He helps me make teacher stuff so I don't have to stay at school as late. And he makes me orange juice when I need extra vitamin C to ward off a cold. That Andrew will even make me a hot tea to make everything all better. He loves me and I love him one hundred million infinite times. The end.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow ... I return ... to work. And although I do love my job, I will so miss spending all of my time with my husband and my little man. I guess that is one of the downfalls of being the number one in love family in the entire world! You can never have too much togetherness! But, alas, I shall make the best of this situation. God has blessed me with a wonderful job, wonderful colleagues, and delightfully wonderful students. And teaching -- it really is a fantastic thing. Tomorrow will be great -- BRING IT ON! I will do my best. I will smile my biggest smile. I will teach my heart out. And when I get home, I am going sit right beside my husband and hold my sweet baby boy and rock him and sing to him and kiss him a million trillion times or until bedtime ... whichever comes first.

So Long 2010

Dear 2010,

You were a great year. In fact, you were one of the best years of my life. You were the first whole year that Andrew and I got to spend together as husband and wife. You were also the year in which we got to meet our beautiful son. You certainly changed our lives ... for good.

2010, you did not come without struggles. Andrew lost his job of 10 years. I had to change plans and go from stay-at-home-mom to a returning teacher. This was hard -- and still is hard -- for both of us. However, we have prayed about this and we have gained so much from these unexpected opportunities. Andrew is the best dad ever (verbalized period!). He and Sprout have the most wonderful father/son relationship and I know that it will remain strong for their entire lives. Furthermore, the baby and I are as bonded as can be. Our time together is very much cherished. As a family, we are one solid unit. We work together and love together with all of our might. Additionally, I have the sweetest most wonderful group of first graders. So really, I get to have 24 kids! I love my class, really and truly. Yes, 2010, little did we know that the struggles you gave us were in actuality gifts. Gifts of wonderful lifetime experiences that we would not have had otherwise.

Thank you, 2010. Thank you for love. Thank you for family. Thank you for growth.

I miss you already.
Love always,
Anna