A Few Random Things

1. This morning, there was a bug in this very house. It was not just any bug -- it was a prehistoric bug left over from the dinosaur era! Yes, it kind of reminded me of the Stegosaurus with its rough, armor looking exoskeleton. You may be wondering how I spotted this bug. Well, I saw our CAT (Stubby) staring at something ... and it was the bug. I was hoping she would pounce on that thing like any other feline would do, but she was content just to stare. Therefore, I had to pick it up with a paper towel and relocate it to the front yard. Thank you so much, Stubby, for all of your help.
2. Lately I have noticed that when I buckle Sprout into his car seat, I end up just sitting next to him for a minute or two. And we talk to each other or we just smile. It doesn't matter if I am running late or that I see him all day long, car seat time has become a special little moment for us.
3. Today at lunch, I did not have too much time to spare. Therefore, I ate an avocado and a banana. It was delicious and it filled me up. I felt good about myself because I made a healthy life choice! I think I will go to the store and buy more so I can repeat this process tomorrow.
4. My mother-in-law, Debbie, said I was a fantastic mom. In other words, she gave me a confidence boost just when I needed it. I need to remember to encourage others on a regular basis. You never know when a kind word will give someone the extra pep in their step!
5. I am working on spreading out nursing sessions. I know it has one been a day and a half, but things are going well. :-) We're still learning!
6. Debbie found a website called "Tipnut" and it tells you how to make EVERYTHING! I am going to try some things out and let you know how it goes! Hopefully, it will help us with our budget ... a very important thing since I am staying home this year.

Things for Me and You to Do

Dear Sprout,

Right now, you are an itty-bitty baby. At this point, you need Mommy and Daddy to do just about everything for you -- and do not despair, we love taking care of our sweet boy! And guess what! You can do new things every single day! As a family, we are going to do so many wonderful things together in the days to come. Among those things are five seemingly impossible feats. But remember, you are a Shook! And we Shooks can do just about anything when we work together! Here is "the list":

1. We are going to make marshmallows. For the vast majority of my life, I believed that you could only purchase marshmallows from your local grocery store. I thought that to make these fluffy sweets, some special engineered machine was absolutely necessary. However, I was wrong! Thank goodness! Yes, we are going to make our very own marshmallows. Do you know what the very best part of making our own marshmallows is? Homemade marshmallows can only lead to one thing ... the best S'mores ever!

2. We are going light up a dark room with no batteries, electricity, or candles. Although I am not a fan of bugs in general, I am a HUGE fan of fireflies. I just think that they are so wonderful. During the day, they look like plain brown bugs. However, they are really extraordinary! They give out such a beautiful yellow glow. In fact, just one little firefly can easily pierce through darkness. Imagine what a whole jar of fireflies could do! Yes, we are going to light a room with a Ball canning jar full of these amazing little creatures. And, of course, we are going to let them go when we are done. :-)

Disclaimer: The participants shall light up a rather small room.

3. We are going to save our Christmas tree! Last year, your daddy and I went to a Christmas tree farm and picked out the most lovely tree that you have ever seen. We showed the farmer which tree we wanted and then a big horse with a sled pulled the freshly cut pine to the entrance. We are going to get our tree from that place every year ... and we're going to bring lots of carrots with us! I love Christmas trees very much --but I am always a little sad when it's time to lay them by a curbside. I didn't know there was any other option until your very own uncle saved the day! He told us you can re-root your tree. In fact, he knows someone who actually did just that! Don't you think it would be great if we did that, too? Yes sir, we are going to re-root a tree (or 2 or 3 or 4) right in our front yard. At first, our neighbors will probably think we're a bit confused ... but then they'll see that our plan will work! Who knows ... maybe we'll inspire them to do the same and our little street will forever be lined with Christmas trees.

4. We are going to give away dozens of eggs using just one egg. As you know, we have chickens. We love those "bock-bockings," don't we? Our first chicken, June, was purchased as a little chick and spent her first few weeks in my second grade classroom. My initial plan was to give her back to our friends who own the feed store, but I fell in love with her so she resides here with us. She has four chicken siblings that we purchased as teenagers and adults. Do you know what we have never done? We have not hatched a chicken from an egg yet. When you are older, we are going to do just that. We are going to get some Ameraucana chicken eggs (they come in pretty pink and blue colors) and we are going to put them in an incubator and watch little babies peck their way through eggshells. Afterwards, you are going to pick out your very own chicken. I bet you will be so excited to see her lay pastel-colored eggs one day. Together, we will decorate egg cartons with paint and ribbons and glitter. Then we will fill the cartons with your special eggs. Our church has a ministry that gives away garden goods to folks who need them. Each month we will give them beautiful boxes of Easter eggs to share with others.

5. See things that cannot be seen. When I was growing up in Florida, I lived fairly close to a hospital. Sadly, some people would tease the hospital's inhabitants and call them names. One morning, Dad drove my sister Nikki and I passed the place on our way to breakfast. He told us to never make fun of the people who lived there. Dad explained that we don't know why patients entered the hospital's doors. Perhaps someone had lost his whole family and as a result had lost his mind as well. Although I was very young at the time, that moment proved to be one of those parent-child times that I will never forget. Sprout, it is easy to give people labels -- nice, mean, dumb, smart, pretty, ugly... Let's try not to do that. Take time to understand someone and "walk around in his shoes." And if you meet someone who is particularly difficult, care about that person anyway. Remember, if you are in a situation where you think you cannot open your heart, pray that God will love that person through you and He will.

Yes, my little man, there are so many things that we are going to do. This list is but a sample of what we have in store! Feel free to add to our "unlikely" compilation. Like the fabled character Don Quixote, always dare to dream the impossible dream!

Love always,

Mommy

I Don't Know

Let me preface this by saying that I think breastfeeding is wonderful. It has countless health benefits and it also is a source of bonding for mom and baby. I, like many mothers, was gung-ho on nursing my little man for his first year of life. Now, I honestly do not know if I will make it to the end of this month... This is a very, very sad thing for me.

After a baby is born, it is normal for him to lose up to 10% of his body weight. However, he should be back to his birth weight by two weeks of age. This was not the case for poor little Sprout. When I took him to his two week appointment and I saw that he was not where he was supposed to be, my heart sank. I was so sad that I was not making enough milk for my little baby. I was reluctant to supplement, but I knew that Sprout needed adequate nutrition to grow and I did not want him to be hungry at all. From the beginning of my pregnancy I promised him that I would do my best to give him everything that he needed and I was saddened that I could not completely provide for him in this area.

A few days after I started supplementing, I went to see a lactation consultant ... and it is because of her that I have been able to nurse this long. While there, I discovered that Sprout was not latching on correctly. The consultant showed me how to help him latch on like he should -- and I was amazed at the lack of pain that I felt! She also told me how I could pump to increase my supply. Therefore, for approximately six weeks I nursed, pumped, and supplemented (every 2 to 3 hours). Eventually, my milk supply increased. Sprout became very good at nursing and I stopped pumping ... and my milk supply increased even more! In fact there were days when I could give my little guy two ounces of formula or less. I was very encouraged and very determined to persevere.

You may be wondering what the problem is at this point. Well, I nurse continuously. And though I love being close to my child, there are days when we don't make it an hour and a half without nursing. I know that he is growing like he should -- he has been steadily progressing at the fiftieth percentile. What I think is happening is that he naps while he nurses and I am his human pacifier ... and then he wakes up and is hungry ... and then he nurses for real ... and the cycle continues until he falls asleep for the night.

Babies at Sprout's age should be able to get what they need in a half an hour. However, I am afraid to cut him off at that point. What if he didn't get what he needed? What if he was napping-nursing? Also, some babies nurse for comfort and security just as much as they do for nutrition; if that is the case, I certainly want to be there for him. On the other hand, by nursing him so extensively, am I taking away from other activities that I should be doing with him? Is he nursing so often because he needs more ... would it be better for me to give him formula to satisfy his little tummy in a more timely manner? I want to do what is right for him.

One answer to this dilemma would be to supplement him more. However, breast milk is a supply and demand thing. If I supplement more, then my supply will go down. "Breast is best" and I do want to give him the best. But am I? Or am I depriving him of other important things? Right now, I am not exactly the mommy that I imagined I would be. I simply do not have the opportunities to do all of the things that I envisioned doing. At this time, am I doing the right thing? Will things get easier when he starts solids? Should I supplement more? Should I take pride (and comfort) in knowing that I truly did my very best in this particular facet of motherhood ... but accept the fact that it may be reasonable to give my child more formula?

You know, I never imagined that decisions that involve nursing my baby would be so gut-wrenching. For some reason, this issue cuts me to the core (pardon the cliches). I want to give my child what he needs. I just don't know what his exact needs are. I love nursing my boy and holding him so close to my heart and I am not ready for that to end this soon. I know I am rambling ... I tend to that when I don't know what to do...

Dear Sprout,
Right now you are at an age where I must make decisions for you. You are so tiny and you must trust Mommy and Daddy for just about everything. I pray that I will do what is best for you. Please understand that I will make mistakes while I raise you ... but I promise you that I will have tried my best to do what is right at each instance. Know, no matter what decision is ultimately made, that I have cherished these months nursing you.
Love always,
Mommy

Singing

Singing a little baby to sleep is pure bliss. Sometimes I sing traditional lullabies, but not usually. For one thing, I don't quite understand the lyrics to "Rockabye Baby." I have found that I enjoy singing hymns instead. Their sing-song melodies comfort my baby and their words give me the perspective I need at the day's end.

Mom and Sprout Go Out

Our community offers wonderful (and free) baby classes that I love to attend. Today Sprout and I went to infant massage. Unfortunately Sprout has never enjoyed all of the benefits of a massage because he would rather eat. However, I can assure you that he is supremely happy to attend. Having a full belly and watching other babies are two of my young man's favorite things. Maybe one day soon he will add a massage to this repertoire. Anyway, I think it's great ...

Today most of us went out to eat when our class was over. How fun! We had a long table full of mommies and babies. Some people may quip and say that they would feel bad for the other customers. However, I think that most of those around us rather enjoyed our little bald headed rolly-pollies. Somehow, no matter what your day has been like, seeing a baby can add just enough sunshine to put a smirk on your face. I bet after sharing a restaurant with eight babies, our neighboring diners were beaming! :-)

Bath Time

Andrew: Let's be sure to clean his little fat rolls.

Me: They're not fat rolls. They're beauty creases. :-)

One Year Ago, Yesterday

Dear Sprout,

One year ago (yesterday), I found out that you were on your way!

Your daddy and I had been married for a short time and all of the sudden I just felt pregnant. I remembered how the two of us joked that I knew the feeling because I had been pregnant so many times before! However, all joking aside, I just knew. Therefore, we prayed for our future children together from that point forward. Sometimes I think that maybe God let me know that I was pregnant early on so that we could pray for you from the start.

August 1, 2009 was a special day for many reasons. For one thing, your Uncle Ben and Aunt Shannon got married! Daddy was a groomsman at the wedding. At the conclusion of a very beautiful ceremony, daddy and the rest of the bridal party were getting their pictures taken before the reception. While photos were being snapped, I ran home to let Shimmer out. Okay, maybe I left to let Shimmer out and to take a pregnancy test… Before I knew it, I was staring at a positive pregnancy test while crazy Shimmer was outside with the chickens. I wondered, “Does a blue line count even if it’s a very pale blue?” I let Shimmer back into the house, put the pregnancy test in my purse, and returned to the church.

When the photo session was finished, your daddy motioned for me. We both hopped into his truck to leave for the party. As I was starting to tell your dad about you, he noticed that I had one of looks on my face. Do you know what that man thought?! He thought that I was going to tell him that Shimmer hurt one of the chickens! Can you imagine how happy he must have been when I told him that we might have a baby on the way? I showed him the test and he saw a blue line, too. Daddy drove to the reception very carefully because we had a baby on board.

The celebration that night was beautiful. The bride and groom were lovely. Twinkling lights and wheat grass sprouts gave Club Cola the perfect amount of prettiness. We ate tacos, drank punch, and devoured wedding cake. And when we danced, we just smiled at one another and looked into each other’s eyes the whole time. I bet that the people who watched us must have thought that we were very much in love – and they were right! We were madly in love with each other and madly in love with you.

Love always,

Mommy