Sorry it's been so long...

Dear Sprout and Bean,

Tonight I just wanted to write you a little letter.  I am so sorry that I have not written in a while.  Mommy has never been so busy in her whole life ... but that does not change the fact that Mommy loves you more than her whole life.  So, while you are asleep and before I fall asleep, I just want to write three things (out of the infinite number of things) that I love about the two of you.

Sprout:

1)  I love our special mama and son times.  For example,  I love that you twirl my hair when you are sleepy.  I love that your "snuggles and cuddles" and how you hug my neck as you close your long-lashed eyes.  I love that I can be such a source of comfort and security for you as finally fall asleep.

2)  I love your tender heart.  When your sister is sad, you do your very best to make her feel better (most of the time).  Whenever you hear a moving piece of music, your eyes tear up and your little lower lip quivers.  And when you tell someone you love them, you really do make her whole day.  And if that someone is ever sad, she thinks about a certain sweet little boy and she cannot help but feel completely blessed.

3)  I love that you want to learn about everything!  You want to know every species of animal and plant and dinosaur.  You want to learn how to play the fiddle, drive a tractor, and hunt a bear.  You want to sing in the choir like your daddy, build furniture like pawpaw, and cross stitch like mawmaw.  I hope you know that Mommy and Daddy are committed to helping you do all of those things! 

Bean:

1)  I love that you are full of joy.  You dance to the music of katydids.  You sing (off key) at the very top of your little lungs.  You think that everyone is your very best friend -- and when you smile at them, they cannot help but want to be your very best friend!  Your laugh is just about the cutest thing Mommy and Daddy have ever heard ... and the wonderful thing about that is that you giggle all. of. the. time!  Can I tell you how wonderful it is for us to hear our very favorite noise over and over again!

2)  I love that you are a very strong and determined little girl.  You, my short little bald friend, do not know your limits.  You have exceeded all of your developmental milestones because you do not think you're too little to do anything.  You want to climb like a monkey, talk as fast as an auctioneer, and create beautiful pieces of art.  And if you fall, babble, or miss the paper with your crayon ... you do not get discouraged!  You delight in you attempts and you try over and over again.

3)  I love that you want to protect your brother.  If he should cry, you run to take care of him.  If he gets clumsy and falls, you run to his rescue.  You love that "brodor" with all your heart.  He is the first person you talk about when you wake up.  You want to do everything with that boy.  You want to be just like him ... and if he ever needs you, you are right there for him.

So goodnight, my sweet babies.  I have enjoyed writing this short letter to the two little ones whom I love so dearly.  May God bless you.  I can't wait to hold you when you wake in the morning.

Love always,
Mommy

An Ode to Stay-at-Home Parents

It seems as if every baby magazine that you read has a list of the top ten baby "must haves."  And when you register for your baby shower, stores will give you their version of your "must haves."  When Andrew and I were pregnant with Sprout, we listended to our local baby super store and registered for the bazillion things that they told us we would not be able to live without.  Now that we are experienced parents with two kiddos at home, I have discovered the secret that magazines and superstores would rather keep hidden.  You really do not need a lot of things ... We quickly learned that our babies need us ... not material substitutions for the things that we can provide.

Last week, Andrew had to go to the eye doctor.  As he was filling out the patient information form, there was a spot that asked for a job description.  And instead of writing "unemployed," Andrew wrote "stay-at-home-dad."  Way to go, Andrew!  That is the truth!  The man works hard.  He provides our children with their physical needs, emotional needs, and spiritual needs.  He plays with them, feeds them, laughs with them, and prays with them.  He prepares their meals.  He makes sure that the are well-dressed and clean.  On top of all of that, he somehow maintains a clean house and can even assist me with a project or two.  Words cannot describe how thankful I am for him.  My husband is amazing.

In short, I am grateful for my husband and for the way that he provides for our family.  Thank you, Andrew.  You rock!

This Little House

Confession:  Sometimes I want to sell this little house of ours.  We have no storage.  There are no walk-in closets, we do not have a garage, and our attic space is limited.  Our stroller has to be stored under our piano, along with Sprout's tricycle.  Bean's Pack-and-Play is in the middle of a room because we literally have no wall space.  Our porch is in desperate need of repair.  Someone even smashed the chicken mailbox that Andrew made me for Christmas one year.  And honestly, I do not know when we can afford to move. 

And then:  Christmastime came.  And I remembered.

• When Andrew found this house in the late spring of 2009, he drove me up our road to show it to me.  As soon as I saw it, I knew that it would be lovely with Christmas lights on it.  Yes, this house was made for green garland and bright red velvet bows.  Our house is darling, especially during this time of the year.  It is the kind of house that snow globes try to capture.
• When I was younger, I once visited a house that felt like love.  I will never forget that feeling.  I would silently pray that one day I would have a house that felt like love, too.   Years later, my dear friend Arlene visited our house and told me that our house felt like love.  I cannot tell you how much my heart glowed when she said those words.  She was right.  Our house really does feel like love.
•  Arlene adorned our childrens' bedroom walls with mountains and starlight, lunar moths and stately deer, crimson leaves and black-eyed Susans.  We made our kids a little fireplace and a cabin nook.  Their sub floors have scripture verses and love notes that we wrote for them before they were born. 
• Our house would be a palace to most people in this world.  We are warm in the winter and cool in the summer.  We have clean water and a refrigerator that is full of food.  We have luxuries that are not necessities. 

And now: I realize that if we live in this house for the rest of our lives, that would be just fine. It has everything that we need.  It is beautiful.  It is full of love.  We made it ours.  Andrew carried me through our front door as his bride.  We brought both of our children home to this little cabin.  And you will never see a house as charming as this when it is adorned with Christmas lights.

on the stairs of our front porch

For My Grandma

Radiant, parties, fried chicken, elegance, spunk, leopard print, beauty, and family ... these are all words that make me think of my Grandma Mollie.  She was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, an aunt, a grandmother, a friend -- she touched the lives of everyone sitting here today.

She was a walking piece of history.  Grandma was her family's first American-born child.  With her siblings, she saw first hand how hard work and determination could turn a small deli into a booming and successful business.  She lived the American dream.

Grandma Mollie lived life to its fullest!  She loved traveling, exploring different cultures, and adventure.  Grandma swam in oceans, went on safaris, and stood on mountain peaks.  She loved sunshine ... perhaps just a little too much.  But most of all, Grandma loved her family.  We were her shining stars and she was our rock -- a foundation that made us all proud.

Grandma Mollie possessed the kindest heart anyone could ever have.  When she was sick, she knew that her earthly life was coming to an end.  However, she had a beautiful peace and calmness about her.  She talked about going to heaven and seeing her family members with the sweetest smile on her face.  Her biggest concern was not for herself -- it was for us.  She asked me, "Anna, do you think everyone will be okay?"  And I promised her, "Yes Grandma, everyone will be okay."

Isaiah 43:1-3 reads, "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are mine.  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you.  For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, Your Savior..."

As we gather here today, we miss grandma. And the truth is, we will miss her our whole lives. She was one of those "once in a lifetime" people that we were blessed enough to know. However, we will be okay. Each of us will garner all of our love, strength, and determination -- attributes so characteristic of Grandma Mollie -- and we will live our lives to the fullest. We will follow her example.

True Love

*** A note to be read by my children when they are a bit older

Dear Sprout and Bean,

As a grown woman, I can easily reflect upon the pressures and challenges that I have faced in my life. Within the core of each of us, we have a desire to belong and to be loved. However, I learned quickly (and sadly, you have probably learned this already) that there will be those whom do not care for you ... and there will even be some whom detest the inner fibers and moral convictions that make you who you are. I am an adult now and although this reality is still hurtful, it has lost some of its sting. Unfortunately, that sting has been replaced with a greater pain ... and that is the knowledge that you are growing up in a world that is much harsher than the one that I experienced when I was a child.

America was founded as a Christian nation. I believe that as a result of this, our nation has been blessed. The United States, a relatively new country, has risen to be a world power. However, the truths that this nation was founded upon are now being trodden underfoot. Citizens want to take "One nation, under God" out of our pledge and "In God we trust" off of our currency. Congressional prayers no longer can mention the name Jesus. School children are being taught theories and the truth has been dismissed as folklore. The once high-esteemed principles that were so dear to our hearts are being attacked and those who strive to uphold them are being called bigots and haters.

Recently, a Christian named Dan Cathy was interviewed. He started the Chick-Fil-A restaurant chain. When asked if he supported gay marriage, he replied that he did not and that he believed that marriage should be between a man and a woman. As a result of his proclamation of the Truth, he has been unjustly labeled as a hater and a discriminator. The mayors of Boston and Chicago have threatened to remove the restaurants from their cities. Masses have accused him of hatred and of infringing upon the civil rights of citizens. The fact that his restaurant does not discriminate against its employees or its clientele has been intentionally ignored.

It breaks my heart that the mainstream media is equating Christianity to a cult characterized by hatred. In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. Jesus says that you will know a Christian by the love that he shows others.  John 13:34-35 states, “…Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  One of my favorite pastors says it so simply, “Love the sinner – not the sin.”  Christianity is NOT about hating anyone.  We love people of all nationalities, creeds, and orientations.  We believe that God knows what is best for all people and therefore we must obey Him. 

We are all born as sinners and sometimes it is difficult to be obedient.  Every single person has a hard time with sin – Your struggles may be different than mine … but they are struggles nonetheless.  Some people have a hard time with gossip.  Others may have issues with lust or gluttony or sex before marriage or drunkenness or corrupt language, etc.  Whatever your issue may be, God will help you to overcome your area of difficulty!  Call on Him, listen to Him, read His word, and follow the path He lays out for you.  As missionary Jim Elliot so aptly stated, “I may no longer depend on pleasant impulses to bring me before the Lord. I must rather respond to principles I know to be right, whether I feel them to be enjoyable or not.”  Remember, when you are a Christian, you are still a sinner … and you will still have sin in your life; the difference is that you will not want to sin anymore.  “Most laws condemn the soul and pronounce the sentence. The result of the law of my God is perfect. It condemns but forgives. It restores - more than abundantly - what it takes away” (Jim Elliot).

Anyway, I know that I may sound like I am rambling, but I am just so saddened that Christianity is so misunderstood.  Just remember Christ is love.  You will understand this more when you are a daddy or a mommy.  No matter what your kids do and no matter what choices they make, you will always love them.  With that being said, you will be praying with all of your heart and might that they make the right choices throughout their lives because you want what is best for them.  Jeremiah 29:11 sums it up perfectly:  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Love always,

Mommy

Super Excited!

Today we had another doctor's appointment.  And guess what!  It looks like we are going to be having a baby very soon!  What great news!  Andrew and I have a new skip in our step, I tell you.  Soon we'll get to hold our baby girl in our arms. We'll get to kiss her little head and hold her close and snuggle with her and tell her that we love her over and over again.  Parenthood is wonderful -- it's a blessing that I do not think I will ever be able to put into words.  Andrew and I are so thankful and grateful for the opportunity.  <3

Waiting

And so begins the waiting game...

Yep.  That's right!  These last several days have been characterized by me anticipating our little Bean's arrival.  I have been have lots of contractions and lots of pressure and lots of "is this it?" thoughts.  However, our little Bean is still cooking.  And as much as I want to hold her, in my heart I know that she's right where she needs to be.  (Random side note:  Sprout just pulled his sister's diaper cream out of the trunk of his tricycle and ran it to his daddy.  That boy is so funny and cute:  Note to self:  check tricycle trunk often).  I am praying for patience ... this is something that I really need to work on.  But I do know that God knows exactly when little Miss will be born and I also know that His timing and His plans are always best.

I stopped working.  I had planned on working until I gave birth.  However, it just got too hard.  My body is doing it's own thing at this point and last week I knew that I had to stop.  This was (still is) hard for me because I am used to making a plan and sticking with it.  Again, this is yet another example where I need to accept that I am not in control of everything ... nor should I be.

Right now, I will relish the time that I have with my family -- because family time is one of the most special things in the entire world.  These waiting days will not be spent in vain.  Rather, they will be filled with priceless memories made by me and my husband and our little boy and our sweet (and stubborn) little girl.

Well, that's it folks!  Thank you for reading!   Please keep our growing family in your thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Anna