Dream a Little Dream

Dear Sprout,

Although Mommy loves her job, sometimes she is a little bit sad. You will never know just how much she loves you until you have a little baby of your own one day. And Sprout, I think that sometimes Mommy working makes your daddy a little sad, too. But, we prayed about this decision and God has truly blessed this year. Mommy has a great class and is doing really well in her new school. In fact, this could be Mommy's best teaching year ever! Daddy gets to stay at home with you ... and we are one so it's just like I am there, too. Most importantly, you are thriving! Even though life circumstances can be a little hard on us sometimes, we know that God is in control ... and we will thank Him and praise Him and make the very best of each day. Working just makes the time I am home with you even more special.

Daddy really cares a lot about your Mommy. He loves her very much and cares about her feelings. Therefore, he wants to make her time off extra special. In fact, every weekend is family weekend! He takes you and Mama somewhere special and we spend quality time together. Daddy planned this weekend a month ago. And ... it was a surprise. You see, even when you grow up, you will still love surprises.

Today he took us to a place called Love Valley. Love Valley is a small western horse town -- and it's not far from where we live! I have never been anywhere like this before. It was like we went back in time. This town has dusty, dirt road streets. You can carry a pistol, but you have to check it in at the bar ... should you decide to visit it. No cars are allowed in the down town area, but there is ample parking for the horses. Your horse can run full speed through the residential area, but must obey the speed limit in the shopping district. There is a town hall that adjoins the hardware store. Many locals are members of a mule association, as it raises lots of funds to help children in need. Yes, this place was neat. I liked seeing it and being immersed in a brand new culture. However, the thing that I liked best about Love Valley is that it literally is a dream come true.

A long time ago, a little boy named Andy Baker was in the third grade. The teacher asked the children what they wanted to be when they grew up. Lots of young minds had lofty aspirations. Joey wanted to a lawyer! Jane wanted to be a doctor! And little Andy ... well, he wanted to be a cowboy that lived in a really western town. Yes, his dream was different -- but it was a wonderful dream, nonetheless. Too bad that little Andy lived in the booming city of Charlotte. Too bad that cowboys are people of the past. Too bad that western towns didn't exist in the East coast. Too bad that horses were long ago replaced with automobiles. I would have expected that Andy would have grown up, smiled nostalgically at his long ago dream, and moved on. Thank goodness that was not the case. Andy did not grow up and merely blend into the world. Rather, he grew up and planted a church. He figured that every town needed a church, even a cowboy town! Once the most important building was erected, houses and businesses followed suit. And today, fifty years later, a cowboy town still exists right here in North Carolina.

At the end of our visit, we decided to check out the hardware store before we left. When we walked in to door of the toasty warm building, there sat cowboy Andy. He was a long-legged man that wore blue jeans, cowboy boots, a denim shirt, and a wide brimmed hat. His clothing was not flashy; it was well-worn and looked natural on him. He said hello to us and said that you were a cute bee (you were in your Halloween costume). Andy had one of those kind voices that made you instantly trust him. We looked around and went out the door ... but then I knew that I had to go back in and ask this unassuming cowboy if I would have him take a picture with my son. He smiled and stood up to take his photograph with us. Then, he gave us an apple out of a bucket before we left.

You may wonder why Mommy wanted to have a picture taken. Well, you are going to dream many dreams as you grow up. But you will most probably have one dream that tops your list. Most people do. Sadly, most people discard their dreams with other childhood items as they enter adulthood. It's easier to just do what is expected of you. Society reminds me of a school of fish. We all generally go in the same direction and follow others who are in front of us. This makes for a smooth ride. But why?! Why can't we at least try to live out a dream? Why do we have to conform and think in the very back of our minds, "Wouldn't it have been cool if ...?" Maybe we have dreams for a reason. Maybe our strong desires and gifts are programmed into us because they can be used for God's glory. I bet many Love Valley cowboys have graced the entrance of its founding church. And make no mistake, that is a big deal.

When you get older, I cannot wait for you to share your dreams with me. I promise to be your biggest cheerleader and supporter. I will encourage you to pursue what you were born to pursue! I will listed to you, I will research with you, I will plan with you, and I will help you do what you need to do. Your dream may be unique like Andy's ... or it may be the same dream that many others share. Both are equally as wonderful. My dream was to be a wife and mommy -- and I know how very blessed I am to have had my wish come true.

I love you, my little dreamer.

Love always,
Mommy

6 Things I Love about my 6 Month Old

1. I love when he falls asleep on my chest.

2. I love when he smiles.

3. I love when he squeals with delight.

4. I love the look of amazement he has in his eyes when he discovers something new in the world.

5. I love watching him smile why he sleeps.

6. I love how sweet and cuddly he is.

I love being Sprout's mommy.

Sunday

To be honest, I was a little reluctant to go to church Sunday night. Since I started teaching again, I have been running on fumes and trying to get everything done. A big part of me wanted to cry because I knew just how hard I had been working ... and I knew that I would be up all night trying to finish everything ... and I knew the baby would get up a couple of times ... and I knew that I would not be able to catch up on sleep for a week... However, I did not go to the night service the previous week. I knew that I was on the verge of starting a habit that I would regret. I need Sundays.



As Andrew was on stage strumming the bass guitar, the baby and I were sitting on the front pew. Sprout's attention span can only be stretched so far. His squirming became more and more intense. I needed to keep him calm. Instinctively, I held him close to me. My embrace did not allow Baby to flail his arms any longer. Gently, we rocked back and forth together. With each sway, I felt Little Man relax more and more. I kissed the head of a calm and content baby.

As I sat there holding my child, I thought about my Heavenly Father holding me. I am the first one to admit that I rely on myself way too much. I have plans for me and things around me. My persistent nature is one of my greatest gifts and one of my biggest flaws. And when things go this way and that, I flail my arms like crazy as I try to grab all of the pieces and put them back together. While there is nothing wrong about being proactive, there is definitely something wrong with taking things into your own hands. God is in control of everything. I need to allow Him to embrace me and to keep me still. Only then will I find peace and rest.

Moments

Each day after work, your daddy meets me with you in his arms. You look at me and give me this instaneous smile. You go from daddy's embrace to mine ... and you and I just smile at each other for a while. Then I kiss you on your cheeks and you modify your smile to an open-mouthed grin. I nurse you right away. You are always willing to eat and I love to hold you as close to me as possible. All too soon, you are ready to go to sleep ... but I am not ready to put you down. I lay you on my chest and let you dream close to my heart. When I breathe, I mimic your breaths so we feel like we are sharing one body again. You are your own little person now, but I will never be able to separate myself from you. I close my eyes and love the moment. Sometimes I wish that moments would not be fleeting by nature.

I love you, my little boy.