Thinking and Reflecting

Dear Sprout,

You are sleeping. I am thinking. I've told you many times before that you are the first thing that I ever remember praying for. When I was little, all I wanted to be was a mommy and that's what I asked for during my quiet time. And then I grew up and I got married and I found out I was pregnant about a month later. I was so happy ... and at the same time, I was so scared. I almost could not believe that my prayer had been answered. Just like that. I think that part of me did not feel worthy of such a blessing ... and really, I am not worthy. I am just a person -- a plain, confused, sinning person. However, I have a Father who loves me despite myself. He knows me and understands me and loves me and forgives me and blesses me, even when I don't deserve it. I know that I will never be what I aspire to be. In this world, it's not possible. However, I do want to model my life after Christ's. I want to act like He does and love like He does. I want to listen and trust and obey. I want to be the mother that He has designed me to be. I am still so wonderfully overwhelmed by my answered prayer ... you. How all of my life, every little thing good or bad, miraculously worked together and brought me you. That is something that I will never take lightly.

Love always,
Mommy