Together

Dear Sprout,

It's Friday. We are finally together, uninterrupted, for a few days. We are going to have a wonderful weekend. We will go to parties, take pictures, see friends, and go to church. We are going to cherish every moment of our family time. Daddy is going to play songs on his guitar and I will sing and you will dance. We will go on little adventures and learn new things. We will love and love and love.

Sometimes, a lot of times, I wish that I could just stay with you. I carried you within my body for over nine months and it just seems that I belong with you still. I do love my job and I do love the beautiful people that I come into contact with each week day, but a part of me longs for you the whole time. How I wish that I could just hold you just a bit more often and kiss your cheeks at least once an hour. You are your dad, you're my heart.

I am going to be better with my time. I feel guilty. After work, I wanted to make you a birthday hat and I did and it is so sweet ... but in retrospect, I should have just held you instead. Now you are asleep. And I feel like I hardly got to share this day with you. I should have just waited to make the hat. I am not trying to be too hard on myself, I just miss you.

So, in closing to this solemn little note, I just want you to know that I am going to be better. I'll figure something out. I'll make a plan. Some how, some way, your little self will be cradled in my arms more often. You and me and dad, we'll be together more. I promise.

Love always,
Mommy