Being a Mommy

Becoming a mommy came with many blessings. Most obviously, I have a beautiful baby who has changed my whole world. And when I think about it, the second biggest gift has been the relationships that have formed because of Sprout. Andrew and I love deeper than ever and Sprout adds an extra element of closeness between us and our loved ones. And to say our friends and church family have been nothing short of amazing is an understatement -- they humble me all of the time. Furthermore, because of being a mommy, I have met other mommy friends. Yep, all of the sudden I made a group of the most wonderful friends. Together, we have watched our infants grow. I remember when we all had them in our laps all of the time ... and then they were able to roll around on a quilt together ... and then one day they were all sitting up together ... and now, in some fashion or another, they are mobile! Throughout the months, we have talked and questioned and wondered ... and we all understand and emphasize because we are all right there, too.

Like my friends, I want Sprout to grow up to be independent, but compassionate. I want him to be smart, but not arrogant. I want him to lead, but put others before himself. I want him to be a man of faith who will take great steps, all the while knowing that God is the one who will be moving his feet.

I used to think that I was a go-with-the-flow kind of person. Now, I am not so sure. You see, like my "mommy friends," seemingly little decisions are big to me when they involve my son. Should I nurse ... should I give formula ... both? When should I start giving solids? Does he need more to eat or am I putting him at risk for allergies? Should he be in a bassinet, in his own room, or in bed with us? What does it mean when he cries? Is he teething, hurting, hungry, or lonely? Should he travel with us and see the world ... are we doing too much too soon? Most of us have had similar questions. Sometimes we do the same things and sometimes we do different things. But every single one of us try with all of our might to do what's best for our baby.

There are a lot of times when I question my decisions. What if I am doing the same thing as everyone else? What if I am doing something that is completely different. And then I remember ... God gave me Sprout. My baby is a unique creation and I was chosen to be his mommy. And this is one of the times when faith comes in ... I pray, I seek, I listen ... and most of the times I will hope and then pray some more. What is right for my Sprout may not be right for my next child or the child next door. And sometimes I will make the right decisions and sometimes my choices will need some major tweeking. That's to be expected ... I am a human, nothing more and nothing less. As I write this, my son is happily exploring his world. And some how I know that he is going to be just fine. And so his Lincoln, and Harrison, and Kyra, and Sami, and Madeline, and Carter, and Sarah, and Liam, and Caden ...and all of them ...